Tuesday, December 27, 2011
2 months old
Baby walker is officially 2 months old today. His cousin Nicholas was born today as well. I can't wait for these boys to grow up together. Life is wonderful. I am totally enjoying my baby, my kids, and my husband this Christmas break!
Saturday, December 24, 2011
6 hours
Last night was Walker's first 6 hour stretch of sleep. At 8 weeks old. I'm thrilled. I haven't done anything to encourage it, he's completely demand fed, in fact he's demand everything. I let him dictate what he wants to do, and I hold him until he falls asleep. So it makes me think it's just how my kids are, and not any kind of babywise technique. He's an angel, I just love everything about him.
Friday, December 23, 2011
December 6th, Walker's due date
One day when I was in the NICU the nurse manager for L&D came in to talk to me. She said they were doing a big PR branding thing for our hospital, and they wanted me to give a testimonial. I told her I would be thrilled to and she told me to expect a phone call. In the phone call they explained a little bit more and said there would be a radio ad and newspaper ads that I would be in, a little embarrassing, but no big deal, right? The marketing company came to my house to meet with me, and before I knew it, they were talking about where they would be filming, and asked if I could go up to the hospital to film as well. Turns out there is a commercial involved as well. They have 1 person from 3 different sections of the hospital for the commercial, and I just happen to be the one representing the women's center. Oh my. They scheduled the filming for December 6th, Walker's due date. I got to bring him back to the hospital on his due date to visit L&D and the NICU. I even gowned up like I was a patient again. Here was what I wrote from that day. I had so much fun on Walker's due date! I showed up at the hospital and signed away my life (giving them permission to do whatever they want with the video and pictures). It was so fun to walk in and tell the NICU staff (they are the ones who let you into l&d at our hospital) that I was in labor. They all squealed and came to ooh and ahh over Walker.
When I walked back to L&D I found a studio all set up in the room. Lights all over, a bunch of their crew. I gowned up, but was able to keep my clothes on underneath (phew). They got us arranged in the bed, and then we had to undress the sweet, sleeping Walker. He didn't like that. He wanted to eat then. But we gave him a bottle and took shots in between settling him down with a binky. It was really cheesy and awkward. They did all kinds of strange angles and shots, and while they took videos they also took photos. The advertising director of the hospital explained that they were making brochures with my pictures as well as newpaper ads and bus wraps. My heart stopped beating for a second when she said that. Bus wraps? I have never aspired to seeing my face on a bus! She said that as IHC (Intermountain Health care) owned the pictures they can use them to advertise for any hospital. And that a gal from our hospital has had her picture on a billboard in Salt Lake City for the last year. (PLEASE, no billboards!) Anyway, I guess I don't know where I'll see these pictures pop up. Why do I have to be 17 pounds overweight in these pictures????
Then we got to go back to the NICU. It was so good to be back there. My favorite nurse Susanne was there and she did so well! We went back into a room and hooked him back up to all his monitors. And the NICU scenes were just exactly like the real thing. She walked in, used Avagard on her hands, and smiled as she asked me how we were doing. Then she came down close to me to love on Walker for a minute and chat. It was just like my NICU life. I loved it. We stuck around for awhile afterwards and chatted with the nurses. It was hard for me to want to leave that place again, especially knowing that I won't get to go back in there again ever with Walker. But...... seeing as I skipped a feeding I was blowing up like a balloon, and needed to go home and nurse my baby. So we finally left.
Anyway, I know that's a really long story, but it was a great day. Who gets to go have a major photo and video shoot on their babies due date at the place they were born? I'm pretty sure it will never happen to me again. So I tried to soak it all in.
The next day they came to film at my house. It was pretty crazy. But I managed to farm out my kids and get it done.
The commercial turned out great. They must be professionals to take my goofy stuff and make it look good. It is the 2nd of 3- 30 second commericals on here, so you can skip about 30 seconds into it to see mine.
LRH_3 Spots from FireFly Film & Video on Vimeo.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
All 5 Low boys.....
Have blue eyes
Were born early
Have swirled cowlicks on the exact same spot of their forehead the only partly goes up into their hairline
Had jaundice after birth
Have umbilical hernias
Had long, skinny fingers when they were born
Loved being swaddled
and are really cute in their own unique ways too.
Were born early
Have swirled cowlicks on the exact same spot of their forehead the only partly goes up into their hairline
Had jaundice after birth
Have umbilical hernias
Had long, skinny fingers when they were born
Loved being swaddled
and are really cute in their own unique ways too.
Just FMI
Which means for MY information. :)
Walker is fast approaching his 2 month birthday (5 days away) and he....
Only JUST started smiling
Still poops alot!
Takes bottles or the breast flawlessly.
LOOOOOVES his binky, doesn't want to spend any waking moments without it
Really prefers being held
Just started sleeping in large enough chunks for me to consider that I slept at all in the night
Doesn't quite fit into 0-3 months yet
Weighs almost 9 pounds
Wears size 1 diapers
Has an amazing amount of gas
Has pretty long eyelashes
Still has acne
Loves baths
Is still like a sleepy newborn
His favorite place is his changing table when the sun is shining.
I must say I have enjoyed Walker more than any other baby. It's not anything about him, just the frame of mind I'm in. I love how small he is, I feel like the newborn stage is lasting longer.
Aside from the moments of panic when my water broke, and those sleepless nights as I worried about infection and prematurity and what each of them would bring, I don't regret his prematurity at all. He's pretty close to his milestones, I know he'll catch up in growth by the time he reaches a year old. I LOVED my NICU experience, I treasure everything about it. I got so many special benefits from it. My labor experience, although not how I imagined it at all (think hippie, that was my goal) ended up being awesome.
I just can't find anything to complain about this experience. It's wonderful. It makes me want to do it again...... but I think I'll wait a bit :)
Walker is fast approaching his 2 month birthday (5 days away) and he....
Only JUST started smiling
Still poops alot!
Takes bottles or the breast flawlessly.
LOOOOOVES his binky, doesn't want to spend any waking moments without it
Really prefers being held
Just started sleeping in large enough chunks for me to consider that I slept at all in the night
Doesn't quite fit into 0-3 months yet
Weighs almost 9 pounds
Wears size 1 diapers
Has an amazing amount of gas
Has pretty long eyelashes
Still has acne
Loves baths
Is still like a sleepy newborn
His favorite place is his changing table when the sun is shining.
I must say I have enjoyed Walker more than any other baby. It's not anything about him, just the frame of mind I'm in. I love how small he is, I feel like the newborn stage is lasting longer.
Aside from the moments of panic when my water broke, and those sleepless nights as I worried about infection and prematurity and what each of them would bring, I don't regret his prematurity at all. He's pretty close to his milestones, I know he'll catch up in growth by the time he reaches a year old. I LOVED my NICU experience, I treasure everything about it. I got so many special benefits from it. My labor experience, although not how I imagined it at all (think hippie, that was my goal) ended up being awesome.
I just can't find anything to complain about this experience. It's wonderful. It makes me want to do it again...... but I think I'll wait a bit :)
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Walker smiles
Yesterday Brooke watched my boys. I had to go deliver a box of 400 ounces of breastmilk to be donated to the milk bank. I'm excited to think about all the babies that will be better off because of my milk!
Walker gave Brooke a bunch of smiles, and I was kind of jealous. But this morning he gave me a whole series of adorable smiles. I'm so excited that he reached this milestone. He has also been cooing a little bit. He slept well last night. I just adore this little baby. He's so sweet!
Walker gave Brooke a bunch of smiles, and I was kind of jealous. But this morning he gave me a whole series of adorable smiles. I'm so excited that he reached this milestone. He has also been cooing a little bit. He slept well last night. I just adore this little baby. He's so sweet!
Sunday, December 18, 2011
2/1
Two nights of misery. Two nights of almost no sleep. Two nights of my sweet little baby tensing up in pain every few minutes and wanting to be held through it. Walker started getting an incredible amount of gas all of a sudden. He was clearly in a lot of pain from it, and he wanted to sleep but couldn't. He kept his eyes closed, and fell back to sleep fairly quickly, but the pain of air bubbles in his tiny, premature intestines just hurt too badly. I was really wondering how I would survive more nights like these.
Yesterday I tried to give him Mylecon drops a little more regularly, and the best thing ever happened. He only woke me once in the night! He slept from 11:00 to 3:00 and then I woke him at 7:00 because I was worried about him.
So the good news is, I have renewed hope that I might resume some brain functionality at some point in the future when I get some sleep again. In the mean time, I still enjoy seeing Walker a few times in the night. Just not ALL night.
Yesterday I tried to give him Mylecon drops a little more regularly, and the best thing ever happened. He only woke me once in the night! He slept from 11:00 to 3:00 and then I woke him at 7:00 because I was worried about him.
So the good news is, I have renewed hope that I might resume some brain functionality at some point in the future when I get some sleep again. In the mean time, I still enjoy seeing Walker a few times in the night. Just not ALL night.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Stories
Three stories today.
1. We moved G. into Henry's room. I knew that putting him in a new crib was going to make him realize he could get out. It did. Henry and him were up playing for hours every night, so we moved Henry downstairs. That helped for awhile, but I finally succumbed to my good friend the crib tent.
All the boys came running into the room while I set it up. They were so excited. G. was NOT excited. His little face drooped, then crumpled. "OH MAN!" he said. Kinda stomping his feet he said again, "OH MAN!" It was like he knew he was toast. Luckily his brothers convinced him it was super cool, and within a few minutes he was begging to go to bed in his "house." He likes it okay now, and he's sleeping MUCH more, phew!
2. A week before my water broke with Walker I went to ward temple night. I had just come from L&D getting my steroid shots and they made me super hot. I spent the majority of the session fanning myself with a tiny pink piece of paper. I really considered leaving because I couldn't survive one more minute. It was an excruciatingly hard hour for me. Part of the way through I realized that the girl next to me was pregnant too, and she was pretty hot as well. We ended up chatting a little (as much as you can in these circumstances) and I learned that she had preterm labor as well.
I just went up to the NICU to bring some thank yous and I ran into this girl. I couldn't figure out who she was, but she remembered and told me how I knew her. Her baby came at 33 weeks, and had spent 2 weeks in the NICU. He was going home, but on oxygen. She only got one shot in before he was born, so his lungs weren't strong like Walkers.
For some reason I felt like this meeting was serendipitous. I'm not sure why.
3. I title this story "The poor little rich boys"
For the last year, our family computer hasn't worked. It freezes constantly, and the kind of freeze where you have to hold the power button for 10 seconds and then turn it back on. I haven't used it at all, but the kids have. I have never heard them complain about it, even though it turns off in the middle of their games, etc. They have been so sweet about it.
I threw the computer out a few weeks ago, and I told Dave we had to replace it immediately. But we didn't. And they haven't ever complained about not having a computer. It kinda tears me up to think how sweet they have been to not have a computer and not complain. They have never asked to use mine either. And then I remember that it's pathetic of me to feel sorry for kids not having a computer. How spoiled are we? Will you all hold a telethon for us to raise money for these poor little rich boys? (That is a joke I learned from our bishop). But nonetheless, I am proud of the way they have handled it.
We talked about it last night and Isaac said, "When we get a new computer, I hope it has our family videos." I was floored that was his only request. We talked about how much computers cost and they were shocked. They understood we would have to save up for it. They were ok with that.
I have a new imac sitting in a box under my tree right now......
1. We moved G. into Henry's room. I knew that putting him in a new crib was going to make him realize he could get out. It did. Henry and him were up playing for hours every night, so we moved Henry downstairs. That helped for awhile, but I finally succumbed to my good friend the crib tent.
All the boys came running into the room while I set it up. They were so excited. G. was NOT excited. His little face drooped, then crumpled. "OH MAN!" he said. Kinda stomping his feet he said again, "OH MAN!" It was like he knew he was toast. Luckily his brothers convinced him it was super cool, and within a few minutes he was begging to go to bed in his "house." He likes it okay now, and he's sleeping MUCH more, phew!
2. A week before my water broke with Walker I went to ward temple night. I had just come from L&D getting my steroid shots and they made me super hot. I spent the majority of the session fanning myself with a tiny pink piece of paper. I really considered leaving because I couldn't survive one more minute. It was an excruciatingly hard hour for me. Part of the way through I realized that the girl next to me was pregnant too, and she was pretty hot as well. We ended up chatting a little (as much as you can in these circumstances) and I learned that she had preterm labor as well.
I just went up to the NICU to bring some thank yous and I ran into this girl. I couldn't figure out who she was, but she remembered and told me how I knew her. Her baby came at 33 weeks, and had spent 2 weeks in the NICU. He was going home, but on oxygen. She only got one shot in before he was born, so his lungs weren't strong like Walkers.
For some reason I felt like this meeting was serendipitous. I'm not sure why.
3. I title this story "The poor little rich boys"
For the last year, our family computer hasn't worked. It freezes constantly, and the kind of freeze where you have to hold the power button for 10 seconds and then turn it back on. I haven't used it at all, but the kids have. I have never heard them complain about it, even though it turns off in the middle of their games, etc. They have been so sweet about it.
I threw the computer out a few weeks ago, and I told Dave we had to replace it immediately. But we didn't. And they haven't ever complained about not having a computer. It kinda tears me up to think how sweet they have been to not have a computer and not complain. They have never asked to use mine either. And then I remember that it's pathetic of me to feel sorry for kids not having a computer. How spoiled are we? Will you all hold a telethon for us to raise money for these poor little rich boys? (That is a joke I learned from our bishop). But nonetheless, I am proud of the way they have handled it.
We talked about it last night and Isaac said, "When we get a new computer, I hope it has our family videos." I was floored that was his only request. We talked about how much computers cost and they were shocked. They understood we would have to save up for it. They were ok with that.
I have a new imac sitting in a box under my tree right now......
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Dear Santa
This year for Christmas I don't want you to GIVE me anything. I simply want you to take away my fat. 15 pounds of it please. And actually you can drop it off as a gift to someone who needs it. I'm sure there are some starving people who could use it!
Aaaaaaand, while you're at it, please bring my children an iMac. The tooth fairy does that, she takes the tooth and leaves a gift. So take my fat and leave us an iMac. These kids really deserve it after using the piece of garbage computer we've had for so long. (It is indeed in the garbage). Thanks!
Erica Low
ps, I've been pretty good this year, so if I'm not on the "nice" list I would like to dispute that. :)
Aaaaaaand, while you're at it, please bring my children an iMac. The tooth fairy does that, she takes the tooth and leaves a gift. So take my fat and leave us an iMac. These kids really deserve it after using the piece of garbage computer we've had for so long. (It is indeed in the garbage). Thanks!
Erica Low
ps, I've been pretty good this year, so if I'm not on the "nice" list I would like to dispute that. :)
Monday, December 12, 2011
Live Nativity
Tonight we went to a live nativity in Nibley. It was amazing. We saw the sheep, then the donkeys, then the camels and then the people. We walked out and as a bonus they had a zebra and a zonkey. That was the highlight for the boys, truthfully. They had a hayride with horses pulling it, and they sang jingle bells as they rode. It was so fun. G. was terrified of the animals, but he claimed he liked them. We ran into 2 families that we know. One of the families with 4 girls, the other family with 4 boys. Those are our peeps! It was a fabulous family night. We came home to hot chocolate, and Walker had warm milk. :) Wish I had pictures.....
The best part of the night. As we were leaving I picked up G. and he was wiggling to get down and saying something. I thought he was saying he wanted to walk, but then I realized what he was worried about.... Where did Walker go? I told him Dad had him and then he was fine. I LOVE how these boys look out for each other. How can they love this tiny little person who doesn't really interact with them at all? Why doesn't he resent him and wish I HAD left him behind? It's amazing. These brothers have such a bond. You could almost convince me they brought it here with them.....
The best part of the night. As we were leaving I picked up G. and he was wiggling to get down and saying something. I thought he was saying he wanted to walk, but then I realized what he was worried about.... Where did Walker go? I told him Dad had him and then he was fine. I LOVE how these boys look out for each other. How can they love this tiny little person who doesn't really interact with them at all? Why doesn't he resent him and wish I HAD left him behind? It's amazing. These brothers have such a bond. You could almost convince me they brought it here with them.....
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Happy Due Date
Today is our due date! And as I hold a probably 8 pound baby, I can't imagine that people are carrying these things around inside them. And then they deliver them! Holy cow. This baby is starting to feel pretty heavy to me. I now prop him up while he eats because he is heavy in my arms. And I can't believe his chubby cheeks!
At almost 6 weeks old and on his due date Walker.....
Weighs about 8 pounds
Eats really well, obviously
Still has never cried beyond being picked up and soothed for a second
Has developed acne :(
Loves his baths
Holds his head up well
Has the intelligent look in his eye like he wants to smile, and has given me a few almost smiles
Does NOT sleep through the night!
Does sleep one 5 hour chunk
Still has his hair, and the hair on top grew. Most people would call him bald, but we've had babies much balder than this.
And we.....
I- still have never felt bugged by him in the night. I LOVE to be with him and feed him. I feel sad that he has changed so much and grown so big even though I know it's what he is supposed to do and it means he is healthy. I have realized he has way too many newborn/preemie clothes, and I wish he could wear some of them more often. I don't think I have ever enjoyed a baby more than this, partly because of his sweet personality, but partly because I am in a different frame of mind, and was ready to devote all my energy to this baby. (When G. was born I put my energy toward the basement and I didn't enjoy him nearly as much) I have loved my time with this baby, we are so bonded, and he is so sweet.
Isaac- Calls him "this guy" Always wants to hold "this guy" and gives me a play-by-play of every single facial expression he makes. Can carry him around quite well.
Dawson- Holds him occasionally, talks and plays with him frequently. Is working on names for the next boy and prays for our next baby.....oh boy.
Henry- asks constantly to see or touch him. Just for a second. He just gazes at him for a second or touches him lovingly, just to get his fix.
G.- still says, "I wanna hold it." And an "it" is just what he sees Walker as. Jealousy hasn't been an issue at all since we've been home.
Dave- is proud of Walker and me. Lets me do most everything, but is the cutest daddy to Walker on the rare times I let him hold him.
At almost 6 weeks old and on his due date Walker.....
Weighs about 8 pounds
Eats really well, obviously
Still has never cried beyond being picked up and soothed for a second
Has developed acne :(
Loves his baths
Holds his head up well
Has the intelligent look in his eye like he wants to smile, and has given me a few almost smiles
Does NOT sleep through the night!
Does sleep one 5 hour chunk
Still has his hair, and the hair on top grew. Most people would call him bald, but we've had babies much balder than this.
And we.....
I- still have never felt bugged by him in the night. I LOVE to be with him and feed him. I feel sad that he has changed so much and grown so big even though I know it's what he is supposed to do and it means he is healthy. I have realized he has way too many newborn/preemie clothes, and I wish he could wear some of them more often. I don't think I have ever enjoyed a baby more than this, partly because of his sweet personality, but partly because I am in a different frame of mind, and was ready to devote all my energy to this baby. (When G. was born I put my energy toward the basement and I didn't enjoy him nearly as much) I have loved my time with this baby, we are so bonded, and he is so sweet.
Isaac- Calls him "this guy" Always wants to hold "this guy" and gives me a play-by-play of every single facial expression he makes. Can carry him around quite well.
Dawson- Holds him occasionally, talks and plays with him frequently. Is working on names for the next boy and prays for our next baby.....oh boy.
Henry- asks constantly to see or touch him. Just for a second. He just gazes at him for a second or touches him lovingly, just to get his fix.
G.- still says, "I wanna hold it." And an "it" is just what he sees Walker as. Jealousy hasn't been an issue at all since we've been home.
Dave- is proud of Walker and me. Lets me do most everything, but is the cutest daddy to Walker on the rare times I let him hold him.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Random
1. I got to give Walker his first bath. How cool is that? I spent that first hour with him in the delivery room and then Wendy (NICU nurse) took him to check him out. His glucose level was in the 30's and needs to be over 50, so he was admitted. Because I didn't have an epidural, I was walking and could go visit him quickly. I don't remember what time this was, but I showed up to feed him and Wendy let me give him his first bath. All the other kids were bathed right away, but Walker's circumstances made it so I could do it.
2. The first little while in the NICU they would only let me spend 30 minutes trying to get Walker to eat. They didn't want him to wear out, and they also told me that when babies are sleeping their brains grow, so I needed to let him sleep. Interesting.
3. Babies don't get to go back to the NICU. If you go back to the hospital, you are sent to the Pediatric floor as the baby is"contaminated". So you really don't want to leave the NICU until the baby is good and ready! But Walker gets to go back to the NICU..... on his due date! He will be filmed for a commercial. I'm so excited. I miss them there, it will be fun to go back.
2. The first little while in the NICU they would only let me spend 30 minutes trying to get Walker to eat. They didn't want him to wear out, and they also told me that when babies are sleeping their brains grow, so I needed to let him sleep. Interesting.
3. Babies don't get to go back to the NICU. If you go back to the hospital, you are sent to the Pediatric floor as the baby is"contaminated". So you really don't want to leave the NICU until the baby is good and ready! But Walker gets to go back to the NICU..... on his due date! He will be filmed for a commercial. I'm so excited. I miss them there, it will be fun to go back.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
39 weeks
Next week is my due date. Took Walker for a weight check today (dr ordered 3 weekly weight checks). He weighed 7 lbs 6 oz. He's right on track to be 7.5 pounds at 5 weeks. Over 2 pounds weight gain in 5 weeks. Healthy baby! He does have a little cold, but nothing in his lungs so far, so not too worried. Love this little boy. He's sleeping on my chest right now. I'm blessed.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
The story of Walker's birth
Warning- graphic in nature
I have typed up every tedious detail in his birth story. I love to remember these things for later.
The short version is that the week before he was born I went to L&D thinking I was leaking fluid, they told me no. A few days later the leak became obvious right after I got Isaac off to school. I laid in bed not wanting to lose any fluid and hoping that I could stay at the hospital and keep him inside for awhile. We kept him in for 2 more days, long enough for 2 more steroid shots to kick in, and induced on Thursday Oct 27th. Contractions became regular by 8:30 am and he was born at 11:25 am without an epidural. He stayed in my room with me for an hour and then they took him to the NICU.
The long, tediously detailed version
On Thursday night (10/20) we took a trip to L&D. For two days I had noticed that things were quite drippy, unlike anything I have ever experienced in pregnancy. I agonized over it, pretty much knowing that they wouldn't find anything, but worrying about the what if. My sister in law spent a lot of time talking it over with me, and we decided it was best to know for sure what was going on. So Dave and I went in for a very quick visit to L&D. It was only an hour and a half, they did two tests which were negative for amniotic fluid. I was monitored with practically no contractions the whole time. We went home and moved on. Every night though, when I would get up for my potty breaks, I would feel like an accumulation came out. I would turn on the lights, get all stressed as I tried to figure out what was going on. I even used ph strips, but the ph just wasn't high enough. On Monday night, the same thing happened, but I was sick of waking up for nothing, so I just ignored it and went back to sleep after my potty breaks.
I woke up at 6:00 am, as I had been doing most of the time. I just couldn't sleep in for some reason. Did my regular morning thing, ate breakfast, checked stuff online, got Isaac to school, and I was hoping to slip a bath in before getting Henry off to school. I went into my bathroom for my hourly visit, and as I was more alert this time, I noticed more dripping. I thought about it for a minute, and then I squatted on my bathroom floor and put my hand underneath me. It was pretty wet. I knew immediately it was all over. I laid right in my bed, squeezed my legs together, and started making phone calls.
I first called Dave at work. He was teaching, but I had the secretary interrupt him. I told him my water broke and I think he pretty much walked right out of his class. He was in the car and on his way so fast! I then called my mom and asked her to come watch the kids. Next I called Brooke, my sister in law, and asked her to come up and drive me to the hospital. She is a nurse, so I felt really comfortable with her driving me. Her kids are also in school, so I knew it wouldn't be too hard.
Lastly I was going to call the dr's office. I realized that it was Tuesday, which is my ob's surgery day. I just didn't feel like talking to a nurse. I remembered that my ob had given me his cell phone number. So I called it! He was going to be spending the morning shopping with his wife, and then coming in for surgery. I asked him if I could stay pregnant and he told me that if I hadn't delivered by the following day I would be induced. I begged him to reconsider. He told me he'd see me at the hospital.
I was so sad. I really didn't feel ready to have a baby. I knew it wasn't time yet. I felt totally puzzled as to why it happened. I wished I could just go back to sleep and wake up having not happened.
My little Dawson overheard my phone conversations and was worried. He kept asking me if I was excited to see baby Walker. He couldn't understand why I said no. Poor kid, kids hate seeing their mom upset.
Brooke came up quickly, and helped me get ready. She got me clean underwear and clothes and dressed me. She packed the remaining things in my bag. All the while, I was laying in bed trying to keep my fluid inside. My mom arrived, and so did Dave. Dave was just so panicked that I was going to deliver in the car. I told him it wasn't urgent, I wasn't in labor. I walked outside and Brooke had the car nice and warm for me. I reclined the seat so I was laying down as much as possible, and off we went to the hospital.
When we arrived, I somehow kept questioning myself. Did this really happen? I kept asking if Brooke thought I was faking it. I walked up to the window at L&D and she started asking for my information. Then she asked if I was okay to stand there. I told her not really, so she wrote down my name and said she would take care of the rest. It was SO nice of her. I went back and got a room. I laid down and I believe my first nurse was the manager of the floor. She tested me for fluid, and it was positive. I laid perfectly still. She asked me if my blood pressure was typically high. I told her it was never high. I can't remember for sure what the reading was, but it was quite high. A few readings later it had gone back to normal. I think I was so stressed out about everything that caused it to be high, but having settled in at the hospital, I was calmed down a bit.
I was given a "rescue dose" of betamethasone for his lungs. My doctor agreed to consult with a perinatologist in Ogden about my situation and see if he thought waiting to deliver was okay. They wouldn't stop labor, but the wouldn't force it either. I chose to not leave my bed the entire day, I used a bedpan even to avoid it. My dr gave me a quick ultrasound and it showed that there were small pockets of fluid still, so it was definitely a leak. He told me that the baby would continue to make fluid.
Brooke stayed with me through the day. Dave was a little stressed, so I sent him out to do some things. I really wondered if Dave would see the birth or if labor would start and he wouldn't have time to make it back to the hospital. I had a hair appt that morning that I missed, and that evening, my wonderful hair dresser came and did my hair so I would look pretty for delivery. Contractions came that night for a few hours, they were pretty close together, 3 minutes I think, but then they went away. Some time that evening Mel the NICU nurse came in to talk with me. He said, "You're going to ask me when you're going home and I'm going to ask you when your due date is." I kept reassuring him that it wouldn't be that long, that I had healthy preemies. He said 3 weeks minimum. I was determined to prove him wrong and I did. We made it home in 2.5 weeks! But he did make me very worried. I was choking back tears.
The next morning came and I was still pregnant. And ultrasound tech came and checked everything out. He measured 33 weeks, and 5 lbs 4 oz. She said his head was nice and round. My fluid had replenished so well that I was in the normal range. Normal is between 7 and 28, and I was at 14. I wasn't leaking as much anymore, so I felt pretty stable. The perinatologist said if I wanted to wait until 35 weeks I could unless I developed an infection. But he recommended delivering 24 hours after a second dose of betamethasone. My doctor said, "The only thing worse than a preterm baby is an infected preterm baby." The decision was between delivering Thursday and waiting until Monday. I leaned toward the first option and Dave leaned toward the second. But both doctors preferred the first option, so I decided to go with that. I didn't like the idea of risking infection. Knowing what I know now after seeing infected babies in the NICU, I feel SO good about that decision.
I had the BEST nurses throughout this process. They were all so nice, and so capable.
Dr. Fowers told me to take a shower on Wednesday and do a little walking Thursday morning to see what happened. Oddly, it didn't start any contractions at all. So Pitocin was started around 7:30 or 7:45.
My nurse was named Dawn, and I don't think I could have had anyone better for my labor. She thought it was so weird to be blasting me with pitocin at 34 weeks, it's uncommon. She started it slow, and didn't have to turn it up too high before the contractions started at 3 minutes apart. I think they started a little after 8:00. She said the average person gets up in the high teens, low twenties of pitocin, but I was in labor at only 8. She checked my cervix and it was 3 cm and 60% effaced. My doctor came in a few minutes later and said I was 3 and 80%. She looked skeptical, but thought perhaps I had changed that quickly. I asked him to check to see if there was a forebag, which there was, so he broke it. That's why I hadn't been leaking as much.
I not only got to have my ob there, but also my pediatrician. They stuck around for awhile thinking it might be only a few minutes, but it wasn't quite as fast as we imagined. In the first hour I mostly sat on the ball, and it wasn't too bad. I changed from 3 to 5 cm and maybe 80% effaced. I tried hard to empty my bladder as much as possible so he could drop. I worked to get Dave to support me through contractions, which he wasn't too excited about, but he did it. I called Brooke and asked her to come since I wasn't sure how much help Dave would be, and my mom was with the kids. I spent the second hour on the ball as well, and after an hour of pain there was no change. I was disappointed.
I should say that these contractions were not painful for very long. I pulled out the contraction app to see if they were even long enough to be doing anything. It only hurt for about 20-30 seconds at the peak, the rest was fine. In between contractions I felt great. So while it wasn't pain free by any means, it was totally do able. I just kept thinking about my friend Carrie and how she had a natural birth with her water broken and pitocin. She told me I could do it too, and I held onto that when I was feeling pain.
Dawn told me if I could get him to drop it would be over fast. I asked for some Fentanyl. She came to put it through my IV, and I changed my mind. Mostly because I didn't like the idea of feeling better for awhile, and then feeling worse again. It seemed like it might be better to just stay in pain. She increased my pitocin to 10. So I decided to move around a little more and see if he would drop. I got on my hands and knees, sat up, laid in the lateral position, sat on the ball, and even tried a contraction on the toilet which I hated. She checked me and said I was completely thinned out and a 6.
Dawn asked if I was feeling pressure with my contractions and I told her I was. She called the doctor. This was 11 minutes before he was born. I felt more pressure and went to the bathroom. The contractions were coming really close now and I was cranky about it. I didn't want them so close, even though I knew it meant the end was almost there. When I came out of the bathroom, the doctor walked in. I laid down and he checked me at 7 cm 100% effaced and 0 station. I was sad because I thought I should be ready to push. When I said that my doctor told me I didn't have to wait until I was 10 cm to push. Little did I know it was only 6 more minutes until he was born. The nurse called the pediatrician in saying it was close, and he was only in the room for a minute before birth. It was all perfect timing.
I had a terrible contraction in which I bit Dave on the chest. I knew that was a stupid thing to do, so I bit his shirt on the side and tried not to scream. The contraction ended, but the pain didn't really go away. I was so mad to not have a break in between contractions that when the next one came I started saying, "I can't, I can't, I can't." After 10 second of that contraction, the pain was unbearable. I was waiting for the urge to push, but I didn't feel it. No one told me I could push, I was waiting for someone to tell me to. But when that pain was unbearable I made the decision mid-contraction to just push. Exactly 15 seconds later he was born. One push was all it took. I won't lie, it hurt pretty darn bad. But when he was all out it felt so much better.
He was blue and not crying at first. Dr. Fowers was suctioning him out and he let out a small, gurgly cry. He showed him to me really fast, and then took him over to the NICU nurse and my pediatrician. They cleaned him up a little, puffed out his lungs a little, and weighed him. Would you believe his weight was exactly what the ultrasound predicted? I was impressed. Dr. O'very looked at the bottoms of his feet and declared that we were looking at a true 34 weeker. I guess he was hoping my dates were off and we would have an older baby.
My natural childbirth (forced by Pitocin) took only 3.5 hours. And I did it! The last few minutes were so painful, but I really don't need an epidural for only a 10 minutes.
Now I was told that there was no chance I would nurse this little guy in my L&D room. They would take him straight to the NICU. But my cute NICU nurse, Wendy said, "I'm going to let him stay and play for an hour." So I got to keep him in there and nurse him. He took awhile to find any interest, but he did nurse and it was awesome. I was so pleased.
When they handed him to me for the first time, I was startled. He didn't look at all like I expected him to. In fact, I said that he didn't even look like he was mine. Wendy assured me he hadn't left the room, so he must be mine. His face looked so long and skinny, and his hair is a little darker than even Henry's I think. I actually thought he was kind of funny looking. I thought that for most of the first day. Now he looks like a 50/50 split of Henry and G. to me. He has the eyelashes like G. (hopefully stays that way), dark hair like Henry, face shape like Henry, but head shape more like G. Eyes like....all of them looked the same at that age. No dimples, and only a small cleft in the chin. Nose, I would say like Henry. Now of course, I think he's beautiful.
I felt so good after delivery that I hopped off the bed and walked upstairs. I was very pleased with the whole process and very happy that I felt so good.
I have typed up every tedious detail in his birth story. I love to remember these things for later.
The short version is that the week before he was born I went to L&D thinking I was leaking fluid, they told me no. A few days later the leak became obvious right after I got Isaac off to school. I laid in bed not wanting to lose any fluid and hoping that I could stay at the hospital and keep him inside for awhile. We kept him in for 2 more days, long enough for 2 more steroid shots to kick in, and induced on Thursday Oct 27th. Contractions became regular by 8:30 am and he was born at 11:25 am without an epidural. He stayed in my room with me for an hour and then they took him to the NICU.
The long, tediously detailed version
On Thursday night (10/20) we took a trip to L&D. For two days I had noticed that things were quite drippy, unlike anything I have ever experienced in pregnancy. I agonized over it, pretty much knowing that they wouldn't find anything, but worrying about the what if. My sister in law spent a lot of time talking it over with me, and we decided it was best to know for sure what was going on. So Dave and I went in for a very quick visit to L&D. It was only an hour and a half, they did two tests which were negative for amniotic fluid. I was monitored with practically no contractions the whole time. We went home and moved on. Every night though, when I would get up for my potty breaks, I would feel like an accumulation came out. I would turn on the lights, get all stressed as I tried to figure out what was going on. I even used ph strips, but the ph just wasn't high enough. On Monday night, the same thing happened, but I was sick of waking up for nothing, so I just ignored it and went back to sleep after my potty breaks.
I woke up at 6:00 am, as I had been doing most of the time. I just couldn't sleep in for some reason. Did my regular morning thing, ate breakfast, checked stuff online, got Isaac to school, and I was hoping to slip a bath in before getting Henry off to school. I went into my bathroom for my hourly visit, and as I was more alert this time, I noticed more dripping. I thought about it for a minute, and then I squatted on my bathroom floor and put my hand underneath me. It was pretty wet. I knew immediately it was all over. I laid right in my bed, squeezed my legs together, and started making phone calls.
I first called Dave at work. He was teaching, but I had the secretary interrupt him. I told him my water broke and I think he pretty much walked right out of his class. He was in the car and on his way so fast! I then called my mom and asked her to come watch the kids. Next I called Brooke, my sister in law, and asked her to come up and drive me to the hospital. She is a nurse, so I felt really comfortable with her driving me. Her kids are also in school, so I knew it wouldn't be too hard.
Lastly I was going to call the dr's office. I realized that it was Tuesday, which is my ob's surgery day. I just didn't feel like talking to a nurse. I remembered that my ob had given me his cell phone number. So I called it! He was going to be spending the morning shopping with his wife, and then coming in for surgery. I asked him if I could stay pregnant and he told me that if I hadn't delivered by the following day I would be induced. I begged him to reconsider. He told me he'd see me at the hospital.
I was so sad. I really didn't feel ready to have a baby. I knew it wasn't time yet. I felt totally puzzled as to why it happened. I wished I could just go back to sleep and wake up having not happened.
My little Dawson overheard my phone conversations and was worried. He kept asking me if I was excited to see baby Walker. He couldn't understand why I said no. Poor kid, kids hate seeing their mom upset.
Brooke came up quickly, and helped me get ready. She got me clean underwear and clothes and dressed me. She packed the remaining things in my bag. All the while, I was laying in bed trying to keep my fluid inside. My mom arrived, and so did Dave. Dave was just so panicked that I was going to deliver in the car. I told him it wasn't urgent, I wasn't in labor. I walked outside and Brooke had the car nice and warm for me. I reclined the seat so I was laying down as much as possible, and off we went to the hospital.
When we arrived, I somehow kept questioning myself. Did this really happen? I kept asking if Brooke thought I was faking it. I walked up to the window at L&D and she started asking for my information. Then she asked if I was okay to stand there. I told her not really, so she wrote down my name and said she would take care of the rest. It was SO nice of her. I went back and got a room. I laid down and I believe my first nurse was the manager of the floor. She tested me for fluid, and it was positive. I laid perfectly still. She asked me if my blood pressure was typically high. I told her it was never high. I can't remember for sure what the reading was, but it was quite high. A few readings later it had gone back to normal. I think I was so stressed out about everything that caused it to be high, but having settled in at the hospital, I was calmed down a bit.
I was given a "rescue dose" of betamethasone for his lungs. My doctor agreed to consult with a perinatologist in Ogden about my situation and see if he thought waiting to deliver was okay. They wouldn't stop labor, but the wouldn't force it either. I chose to not leave my bed the entire day, I used a bedpan even to avoid it. My dr gave me a quick ultrasound and it showed that there were small pockets of fluid still, so it was definitely a leak. He told me that the baby would continue to make fluid.
Brooke stayed with me through the day. Dave was a little stressed, so I sent him out to do some things. I really wondered if Dave would see the birth or if labor would start and he wouldn't have time to make it back to the hospital. I had a hair appt that morning that I missed, and that evening, my wonderful hair dresser came and did my hair so I would look pretty for delivery. Contractions came that night for a few hours, they were pretty close together, 3 minutes I think, but then they went away. Some time that evening Mel the NICU nurse came in to talk with me. He said, "You're going to ask me when you're going home and I'm going to ask you when your due date is." I kept reassuring him that it wouldn't be that long, that I had healthy preemies. He said 3 weeks minimum. I was determined to prove him wrong and I did. We made it home in 2.5 weeks! But he did make me very worried. I was choking back tears.
The next morning came and I was still pregnant. And ultrasound tech came and checked everything out. He measured 33 weeks, and 5 lbs 4 oz. She said his head was nice and round. My fluid had replenished so well that I was in the normal range. Normal is between 7 and 28, and I was at 14. I wasn't leaking as much anymore, so I felt pretty stable. The perinatologist said if I wanted to wait until 35 weeks I could unless I developed an infection. But he recommended delivering 24 hours after a second dose of betamethasone. My doctor said, "The only thing worse than a preterm baby is an infected preterm baby." The decision was between delivering Thursday and waiting until Monday. I leaned toward the first option and Dave leaned toward the second. But both doctors preferred the first option, so I decided to go with that. I didn't like the idea of risking infection. Knowing what I know now after seeing infected babies in the NICU, I feel SO good about that decision.
I had the BEST nurses throughout this process. They were all so nice, and so capable.
Dr. Fowers told me to take a shower on Wednesday and do a little walking Thursday morning to see what happened. Oddly, it didn't start any contractions at all. So Pitocin was started around 7:30 or 7:45.
My nurse was named Dawn, and I don't think I could have had anyone better for my labor. She thought it was so weird to be blasting me with pitocin at 34 weeks, it's uncommon. She started it slow, and didn't have to turn it up too high before the contractions started at 3 minutes apart. I think they started a little after 8:00. She said the average person gets up in the high teens, low twenties of pitocin, but I was in labor at only 8. She checked my cervix and it was 3 cm and 60% effaced. My doctor came in a few minutes later and said I was 3 and 80%. She looked skeptical, but thought perhaps I had changed that quickly. I asked him to check to see if there was a forebag, which there was, so he broke it. That's why I hadn't been leaking as much.
I not only got to have my ob there, but also my pediatrician. They stuck around for awhile thinking it might be only a few minutes, but it wasn't quite as fast as we imagined. In the first hour I mostly sat on the ball, and it wasn't too bad. I changed from 3 to 5 cm and maybe 80% effaced. I tried hard to empty my bladder as much as possible so he could drop. I worked to get Dave to support me through contractions, which he wasn't too excited about, but he did it. I called Brooke and asked her to come since I wasn't sure how much help Dave would be, and my mom was with the kids. I spent the second hour on the ball as well, and after an hour of pain there was no change. I was disappointed.
I should say that these contractions were not painful for very long. I pulled out the contraction app to see if they were even long enough to be doing anything. It only hurt for about 20-30 seconds at the peak, the rest was fine. In between contractions I felt great. So while it wasn't pain free by any means, it was totally do able. I just kept thinking about my friend Carrie and how she had a natural birth with her water broken and pitocin. She told me I could do it too, and I held onto that when I was feeling pain.
Dawn told me if I could get him to drop it would be over fast. I asked for some Fentanyl. She came to put it through my IV, and I changed my mind. Mostly because I didn't like the idea of feeling better for awhile, and then feeling worse again. It seemed like it might be better to just stay in pain. She increased my pitocin to 10. So I decided to move around a little more and see if he would drop. I got on my hands and knees, sat up, laid in the lateral position, sat on the ball, and even tried a contraction on the toilet which I hated. She checked me and said I was completely thinned out and a 6.
Dawn asked if I was feeling pressure with my contractions and I told her I was. She called the doctor. This was 11 minutes before he was born. I felt more pressure and went to the bathroom. The contractions were coming really close now and I was cranky about it. I didn't want them so close, even though I knew it meant the end was almost there. When I came out of the bathroom, the doctor walked in. I laid down and he checked me at 7 cm 100% effaced and 0 station. I was sad because I thought I should be ready to push. When I said that my doctor told me I didn't have to wait until I was 10 cm to push. Little did I know it was only 6 more minutes until he was born. The nurse called the pediatrician in saying it was close, and he was only in the room for a minute before birth. It was all perfect timing.
I had a terrible contraction in which I bit Dave on the chest. I knew that was a stupid thing to do, so I bit his shirt on the side and tried not to scream. The contraction ended, but the pain didn't really go away. I was so mad to not have a break in between contractions that when the next one came I started saying, "I can't, I can't, I can't." After 10 second of that contraction, the pain was unbearable. I was waiting for the urge to push, but I didn't feel it. No one told me I could push, I was waiting for someone to tell me to. But when that pain was unbearable I made the decision mid-contraction to just push. Exactly 15 seconds later he was born. One push was all it took. I won't lie, it hurt pretty darn bad. But when he was all out it felt so much better.
He was blue and not crying at first. Dr. Fowers was suctioning him out and he let out a small, gurgly cry. He showed him to me really fast, and then took him over to the NICU nurse and my pediatrician. They cleaned him up a little, puffed out his lungs a little, and weighed him. Would you believe his weight was exactly what the ultrasound predicted? I was impressed. Dr. O'very looked at the bottoms of his feet and declared that we were looking at a true 34 weeker. I guess he was hoping my dates were off and we would have an older baby.
My natural childbirth (forced by Pitocin) took only 3.5 hours. And I did it! The last few minutes were so painful, but I really don't need an epidural for only a 10 minutes.
Now I was told that there was no chance I would nurse this little guy in my L&D room. They would take him straight to the NICU. But my cute NICU nurse, Wendy said, "I'm going to let him stay and play for an hour." So I got to keep him in there and nurse him. He took awhile to find any interest, but he did nurse and it was awesome. I was so pleased.
When they handed him to me for the first time, I was startled. He didn't look at all like I expected him to. In fact, I said that he didn't even look like he was mine. Wendy assured me he hadn't left the room, so he must be mine. His face looked so long and skinny, and his hair is a little darker than even Henry's I think. I actually thought he was kind of funny looking. I thought that for most of the first day. Now he looks like a 50/50 split of Henry and G. to me. He has the eyelashes like G. (hopefully stays that way), dark hair like Henry, face shape like Henry, but head shape more like G. Eyes like....all of them looked the same at that age. No dimples, and only a small cleft in the chin. Nose, I would say like Henry. Now of course, I think he's beautiful.
I felt so good after delivery that I hopped off the bed and walked upstairs. I was very pleased with the whole process and very happy that I felt so good.
Monday, November 21, 2011
NICU Photobomb
So the NICU has pretty much terrible lighting. At least our room, couldn't even see the light of day. Imagine that, 2.5 weeks before you ever see your child in the light of day. It was kind of cool to see him in reality. Anyway, I couldn't seem to catch a picture of him that looked decent. That is partly due to the lack of good equipment.
Luckily this adorable nurse in the NICU is a photographer as well. She is expecting a boy and really wanted an owl hat like Walker's. So we traded a hat for some photography (I got the better end of the bargain by far). I think I already wrote this story, but oh well.
She came back a second time to take some pictures with some better lighting. So this is the second photo shoot with a little bit crisper photos, but less alert baby. She is so awesome. What a great blessing that I had her!!!
Have you noticed how busy Walker's hands are? They are always up messing with his face!
I went to snuggle him every feeding whether it was a breastfeeding or a gavage. I would snuggle him like this while they pushed the milk through his tube. I didn't want to miss any moments with him. And that was made possible by a fantastic dad, grandma and grandpa, and some good friends who offered their time and 2 days with a nanny. There were some other people involved, but my brain isn't functioning enough to remember who right now. But thanks to all those people, I could be at the hospital 20 hours a day with my baby.
Luckily this adorable nurse in the NICU is a photographer as well. She is expecting a boy and really wanted an owl hat like Walker's. So we traded a hat for some photography (I got the better end of the bargain by far). I think I already wrote this story, but oh well.
She came back a second time to take some pictures with some better lighting. So this is the second photo shoot with a little bit crisper photos, but less alert baby. She is so awesome. What a great blessing that I had her!!!
Have you noticed how busy Walker's hands are? They are always up messing with his face!
I went to snuggle him every feeding whether it was a breastfeeding or a gavage. I would snuggle him like this while they pushed the milk through his tube. I didn't want to miss any moments with him. And that was made possible by a fantastic dad, grandma and grandpa, and some good friends who offered their time and 2 days with a nanny. There were some other people involved, but my brain isn't functioning enough to remember who right now. But thanks to all those people, I could be at the hospital 20 hours a day with my baby.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Is it terrible?
Is it terrible that I enjoyed my time at the NICU with Walker? I mean of course I am loving being home. But I keep having people commenting about how hard it must have been for me to have him there, and I'm not sure how to respond. Do I lie and shake my head saying, "yes, it was so hard." or do I make myself look a little weird saying that I actually enjoyed it?
I lived at Logan Regional Hospital for 20 days. Here are some reasons why I liked it, and some pictures to show you my experience.
1. It was just me and him. I spent a few hours with the kids in the morning, and the rest of the day was just me and Walker. We bonded, we snuggled, it was great. I nursed him uninterrupted which would never have happened at home.
2. I had the best nurses ever, and we had so much fun together. Seriously, I LOVED them. We had wonderful, quiet talks behind my closed curtain in my room. We had hilarious, loud talks by the front desk. They were probably glad to get rid of me, but I was sad to leave them. All of the NICU staff are like a family. It was a privilege getting to spend 2.5 weeks with them. Oh yeah, and they took great care of Walker too. ;)
3. I learned things in the NICU, and I LOVE to learn. I learned amazing things medically, I even learned more about baby care, which I thought I had a pretty good handle on after raising 4 of them. I tirelessly ask questions, and I love to have them answered by someone other than Google.
4. The facility is amazing. I don't know how many NICU's are like ours. Ours is huge. We had our own room the whole time, and it was quite large. It has a big curtain, so we had privacy as we nursed.
5. Common bonds. It is an organization formed by parents who have been through the NICU experience. They provide snacks for all the parents, gifts every day or two that they leave in your room (not small gifts either, they were pretty substantial some days and they really brighten your day), and they provide a camera and printer so you can capture moments of your baby when you are unprepared.
6. As I'm typing this I'm just realizing that every new mother would like an instruction manual for their child. I felt like for 2.5 weeks I had one. My own personal nurse taking constant care of my baby and helping me with every decision. I looked at them with helpless eyes when I couldn't figure out how to make that baby eat. They responded with so much experience. I have raised 4 babies..... Who knows how many they have taken care of, but.....quite a few more I'm sure! They changed most of the diapers and weighed each diaper to make sure everything was in order. They were certain to alternate sleeping positions to keep his head nice and round. They bathed him every other day. They helped me decide how best to feed him for that particular day to help him the most. They weighed him before and after he ate so that we knew how much he was getting and how much we needed to supplement through his ng tube. And they called me when it was time to feed him. Goodness, they handed me a fresh blanket and burp cloth and offered me a drink with every feeding. It was wonderful.
I wish I could let you all in to my experience there, it was so special. I wouldn't trade it for anything. It wasn't hard at all, it was a pleasure. I worry that I will feel like I'm missing something if I don't have a NICU stay with my next baby. I know that sounds so weird!
Pre and Post weights to see how much he ate (measured in grams)- yes I have many chins, and yes, I hope to transfer them to my baby!
He was in room 2 which has "Angel Baby" written on the wall. It was so appropriate, he was the most angelic baby in there I think. He was really well behaved. Still is. That recliner was where I sat every 3 hours.
The pump that fed him.
Our little wired up baby. We've gone wireless now. :)
His cute little feet
Notice how big my hand is next to him. He was so tiny. It makes me crazy that he's grown so much already.
Every time we fed him we had to match the number on his ankles to the number on the label of the milk I pumped. That way I never fed him someone else's milk! I was kind of sad cutting off his shackles when we got home. He's no longer a prisoner... I mean patient!
Look how small he is next to my cell phone. And I have a small cell phone!
The equipment side of the room. monitors, oxygen, etc.
I lived at Logan Regional Hospital for 20 days. Here are some reasons why I liked it, and some pictures to show you my experience.
1. It was just me and him. I spent a few hours with the kids in the morning, and the rest of the day was just me and Walker. We bonded, we snuggled, it was great. I nursed him uninterrupted which would never have happened at home.
2. I had the best nurses ever, and we had so much fun together. Seriously, I LOVED them. We had wonderful, quiet talks behind my closed curtain in my room. We had hilarious, loud talks by the front desk. They were probably glad to get rid of me, but I was sad to leave them. All of the NICU staff are like a family. It was a privilege getting to spend 2.5 weeks with them. Oh yeah, and they took great care of Walker too. ;)
3. I learned things in the NICU, and I LOVE to learn. I learned amazing things medically, I even learned more about baby care, which I thought I had a pretty good handle on after raising 4 of them. I tirelessly ask questions, and I love to have them answered by someone other than Google.
4. The facility is amazing. I don't know how many NICU's are like ours. Ours is huge. We had our own room the whole time, and it was quite large. It has a big curtain, so we had privacy as we nursed.
5. Common bonds. It is an organization formed by parents who have been through the NICU experience. They provide snacks for all the parents, gifts every day or two that they leave in your room (not small gifts either, they were pretty substantial some days and they really brighten your day), and they provide a camera and printer so you can capture moments of your baby when you are unprepared.
6. As I'm typing this I'm just realizing that every new mother would like an instruction manual for their child. I felt like for 2.5 weeks I had one. My own personal nurse taking constant care of my baby and helping me with every decision. I looked at them with helpless eyes when I couldn't figure out how to make that baby eat. They responded with so much experience. I have raised 4 babies..... Who knows how many they have taken care of, but.....quite a few more I'm sure! They changed most of the diapers and weighed each diaper to make sure everything was in order. They were certain to alternate sleeping positions to keep his head nice and round. They bathed him every other day. They helped me decide how best to feed him for that particular day to help him the most. They weighed him before and after he ate so that we knew how much he was getting and how much we needed to supplement through his ng tube. And they called me when it was time to feed him. Goodness, they handed me a fresh blanket and burp cloth and offered me a drink with every feeding. It was wonderful.
I wish I could let you all in to my experience there, it was so special. I wouldn't trade it for anything. It wasn't hard at all, it was a pleasure. I worry that I will feel like I'm missing something if I don't have a NICU stay with my next baby. I know that sounds so weird!
Pre and Post weights to see how much he ate (measured in grams)- yes I have many chins, and yes, I hope to transfer them to my baby!
He was in room 2 which has "Angel Baby" written on the wall. It was so appropriate, he was the most angelic baby in there I think. He was really well behaved. Still is. That recliner was where I sat every 3 hours.
The pump that fed him.
Our little wired up baby. We've gone wireless now. :)
His cute little feet
Notice how big my hand is next to him. He was so tiny. It makes me crazy that he's grown so much already.
Every time we fed him we had to match the number on his ankles to the number on the label of the milk I pumped. That way I never fed him someone else's milk! I was kind of sad cutting off his shackles when we got home. He's no longer a prisoner... I mean patient!
Look how small he is next to my cell phone. And I have a small cell phone!
The equipment side of the room. monitors, oxygen, etc.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Coming
I've been working on a post about my delivery. It's been a draft for well over a week. For some reason I feel totally compelled to record every single detail, so it will be a long one. I'll finish it up soon.
Until it's done, here is a random tidbit about premature babies (for those who know me well, you know I want to know everything, I ask a ton of questions)
We had our pediatrician at the delivery because of Walker's prematurity. He didn't have to do much, Walker got apgars of 8 and 9, so he was a pretty standard delivery. But as soon as they put him on the isolette to clean him up, the doctor announced that it looked like the dates were correct based on the bottoms of his feet.
Bottoms of his feet? I had to ask him about that. He told me he was hoping we weren't dealing with a true 34 weeker. But when he saw how smooth the bottom of his feet were, he knew that Walker really was at the beginning of his 34th week. So I googled pictures of baby feet. And sure enough, most baby feet have deeper lines in them, but Walkers were smoother. Now he is 37 weeks, and the lines on his feet look a little more prominent to me. Not that I have much of an eye for it, but I thought it was a fascinating thing to learn.
Until it's done, here is a random tidbit about premature babies (for those who know me well, you know I want to know everything, I ask a ton of questions)
We had our pediatrician at the delivery because of Walker's prematurity. He didn't have to do much, Walker got apgars of 8 and 9, so he was a pretty standard delivery. But as soon as they put him on the isolette to clean him up, the doctor announced that it looked like the dates were correct based on the bottoms of his feet.
Bottoms of his feet? I had to ask him about that. He told me he was hoping we weren't dealing with a true 34 weeker. But when he saw how smooth the bottom of his feet were, he knew that Walker really was at the beginning of his 34th week. So I googled pictures of baby feet. And sure enough, most baby feet have deeper lines in them, but Walkers were smoother. Now he is 37 weeks, and the lines on his feet look a little more prominent to me. Not that I have much of an eye for it, but I thought it was a fascinating thing to learn.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
HOME!
We are home and having a wonderful time. The boys are all desperately in love with their brother. He has been very pleasant so far (although the dr predicted him to be colicky/refluxy, we are enjoying him now). The hardest thing for me was leaving the hospital. I kind of felt like I was kidnapping their baby. He lived there for 2.5 weeks, and suddenly I stole him and took him to my house. He had also been monitored his whole life and they let me take him home and put him in a crib unmonitored? And the first time he woke me up in the night, I was so confused/disoriented. I always woke up to a phone call from his NICU nurse telling me it was time to feed him. But it's been great, and I have enjoyed every second. I still haven't figure out how to do a few thing (like mop the floor) with 5 kids, but I'm sure it will all come in time. I just don't ever want to put him down.
So despite the tears I shed at leaving our NICU family behind, I feel totally fulfilled as the mother of 5. I keep thinking I must understand how Michelle Duggar feels now, but I guess we have a 15 child discrepancy, so maybe not.
So despite the tears I shed at leaving our NICU family behind, I feel totally fulfilled as the mother of 5. I keep thinking I must understand how Michelle Duggar feels now, but I guess we have a 15 child discrepancy, so maybe not.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
20 grams
We will weigh this little baby in a few hours and if he gains 20 grams, we go home in the morning! Woohoo!
I must admit I'm a little bit nervous about going home. These nurses have been taking such good care of Walker, now they want me to do it? I'm sure I can do it, but it is kind of scary.
I must admit I'm a little bit nervous about going home. These nurses have been taking such good care of Walker, now they want me to do it? I'm sure I can do it, but it is kind of scary.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
11/10
Today Walker is 2 weeks old. He is doing sooo much better with eating. This morning he pulled out his feeding tube, so we went with it! Today we got mostly feedings in the 30s, but it's good enough. He gained 9 grams today, so as long as he gains again tomorrow night and doesn't need a new feeding tube put in, we will go home Saturday!!
Here he is in his "coming home" outfit. I got antsy, and had to put it on early. It's so cute. He's so cute. We have spent so much time snuggling, he is the cuddliest little baby. Still very sweet, but doing really well when it's time to eat. He's really going for it now. Hopefully he can keep going, won't lose energy, and can keep "nippling" all his feeds so he can graduate!
Here he is in his "coming home" outfit. I got antsy, and had to put it on early. It's so cute. He's so cute. We have spent so much time snuggling, he is the cuddliest little baby. Still very sweet, but doing really well when it's time to eat. He's really going for it now. Hopefully he can keep going, won't lose energy, and can keep "nippling" all his feeds so he can graduate!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Update 2 weeks old
Walker is 2 weeks old tomorrow. I can't believe it. It's been a wonderful 2 weeks with him, he is so sweet. I have been noticing that the other babies in the NICU are much crankier than him. I'm starting to think he really does have a sweet personality. He is now the senior NICU patient. All the other babies have come and gone. The nurses are so in love with him, they don't mind him staying a little longer.
Last night we had some good feedings finally. Today we had 2 that were good, so we decided to go for a third. He got 48/50 ml, so really good. We are thinking in another day or two we will be able to get the NG tube out, and if he can maintain weight gain without it, he will go home in a few days. We'll see how he does, but it's looking good. He's turned the corner anyway. He was stuck for awhile, so it's good to see progress.
At 2 weeks old he has passed his birth weight by a few ounces, so that is great. He is still a decent color, and not on the lights.
Last night we had some good feedings finally. Today we had 2 that were good, so we decided to go for a third. He got 48/50 ml, so really good. We are thinking in another day or two we will be able to get the NG tube out, and if he can maintain weight gain without it, he will go home in a few days. We'll see how he does, but it's looking good. He's turned the corner anyway. He was stuck for awhile, so it's good to see progress.
At 2 weeks old he has passed his birth weight by a few ounces, so that is great. He is still a decent color, and not on the lights.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
11/5
When I went down for our 9:30 feeding this morning, Walker was wearing clothes!!! The doctor had taken him off of the lights. It was so fun to hold him and see him in clothes. He's so stinkin' tiny, it's so cute. The doctor also ordered to try nursing at every feeding, but after pushing him to do that for a few feedings, he had a bradycardia and a de-sat and my nurse thought that we better back off. So now we're trying two breast, one gavage (tube feed). Last night we got 39 and then 18. So it shows that he doesn't have the energy to do as much the second time in a row. I'm going to talk with the dr this morning, and try to explain to him that I don't want to push this little guy too hard. Personally, I think his bilirubin is going to jump up again.
Walker had a photo shoot today. One of the nurses in the NICU is pregnant and she asked if I would make her one of my owl hats. She agreed to take pictures of Walker in exchange for a hat (unfair trade, I'm going to really try to pay her!) What could be better than a photographer who knows her way around the NICU already? She knows what to do with all the wires, etc. Where they keep the cute blankets. It was awesome! I'm going to talk to the new manager of the NICU and recommend that they offer this to all the parents. It will be so cool to have this experience documented, and she is really good! I think a good photographer can make the pictures look better than real life, and hers definitely did. She will be working tomorrow and she said she'd bring the camera and take a few more. I can't wait!
Walker had a photo shoot today. One of the nurses in the NICU is pregnant and she asked if I would make her one of my owl hats. She agreed to take pictures of Walker in exchange for a hat (unfair trade, I'm going to really try to pay her!) What could be better than a photographer who knows her way around the NICU already? She knows what to do with all the wires, etc. Where they keep the cute blankets. It was awesome! I'm going to talk to the new manager of the NICU and recommend that they offer this to all the parents. It will be so cool to have this experience documented, and she is really good! I think a good photographer can make the pictures look better than real life, and hers definitely did. She will be working tomorrow and she said she'd bring the camera and take a few more. I can't wait!
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Update 1 week old
Today baby Walker is 1 week old. You would never guess by looking at him. He's still as small and sleepy as a newborn. Due to the force feeds (gavage is what they call it) through the tube, he has been able to get the nutrition necessary to keep his weight up. He dropped to 4.15 at the lowest, and is up to 5.2 today. His bilirubin is fairly low, but doesn't drop. I think we've kept that down through the gavage and early intervention with phototherapy. It's around 9 or 10. G. Jesse's was up to 22. So you can see how much better this little guy has done due to his hospitalization.
His vitals continue to be strong, heartrate, oxygen, breathing, temperature are all stable. We are just waiting on him to wake up and eat! Dr. O'very was in this evening and he said that once he takes 100% of his feeds through a nipple (they call it "nippling"), if he's averaging a weight gain of 20 grams a day for a couple of days, then we go home. So at any given time we are at least a few days away from coming home, even if we have success in nippling all feeds. On the one hand it seems like overkill to me, but when I think about it, I really don't want the stress of him home without that.
I've seen a lot of babies come and go though. One of his next door neighbors came in really sick in quite an emergency. I think he left tonight. Even miss Evelyn next door will likely beat Walker home. Although, she is declining which is sad. She's full term, she should have gone home already! She got the feeding tube and was put back on lights and oxygen. Her parents are very friendly, and I kind of like having them around, so I don't mind if she stays!
Today, our 9:30 am feed was our best yet! He got 48 out of 50 ml, so nearly perfect. 12:30 was gavage and 3:30 we got 6 minutes of nursing with only 19 ml. I was kind of disappointed, but I do understand he just needs time. The nurses are still quite impressed with him, and the lactation consultant (Her name is Liz, and she is probably our favorite NICU nurse) skipped right over him. There is nothing wrong with him, he latches great, sucks great, he just can't keep it going. That is quite good for a 34 weeker, so I can't be mad at him!
I'm still enjoying my time with this little guy. He is so sweet and delicious. I love holding him and being with him.
His vitals continue to be strong, heartrate, oxygen, breathing, temperature are all stable. We are just waiting on him to wake up and eat! Dr. O'very was in this evening and he said that once he takes 100% of his feeds through a nipple (they call it "nippling"), if he's averaging a weight gain of 20 grams a day for a couple of days, then we go home. So at any given time we are at least a few days away from coming home, even if we have success in nippling all feeds. On the one hand it seems like overkill to me, but when I think about it, I really don't want the stress of him home without that.
I've seen a lot of babies come and go though. One of his next door neighbors came in really sick in quite an emergency. I think he left tonight. Even miss Evelyn next door will likely beat Walker home. Although, she is declining which is sad. She's full term, she should have gone home already! She got the feeding tube and was put back on lights and oxygen. Her parents are very friendly, and I kind of like having them around, so I don't mind if she stays!
Today, our 9:30 am feed was our best yet! He got 48 out of 50 ml, so nearly perfect. 12:30 was gavage and 3:30 we got 6 minutes of nursing with only 19 ml. I was kind of disappointed, but I do understand he just needs time. The nurses are still quite impressed with him, and the lactation consultant (Her name is Liz, and she is probably our favorite NICU nurse) skipped right over him. There is nothing wrong with him, he latches great, sucks great, he just can't keep it going. That is quite good for a 34 weeker, so I can't be mad at him!
I'm still enjoying my time with this little guy. He is so sweet and delicious. I love holding him and being with him.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Day 6
Tube feeding every other feeding did great things for Walker. He is supposed to get 50 ml in each feeding, but he got as high as 38 I think from the breast. Yesterday he had gotten as little as 3 ml. After all attempts to breastfeed, he tube feeds the difference. They weigh him before and after eating without letting anything else change (diaper, blanket, etc) and they see the difference between the two weights. Then the rest is put through his NG tube. On the other feedings, we don't even try to breastfeed, he rests while getting it all through his tube.
Today the doctor thought that we were successful enough that we should bump it up. 2 feeds at the breast, 1 tube feed. We tried and it didn't go well, so we are going to back off and go back to every other.
The doctor also said to take him off of phototherapy today. I was not happy with this decision. For some reason, he came back a few minutes later and looked at his results from this morning. His bilirubin had gone up, and while still below the danger zone, the fact that it's rising tells us that his liver still isn't working that well. Personally, I think the only reason his levels are as low as they are is because of the lights, we never let them get high. He looks really good though, I've never had a baby with a white torso before. His face is still yellow, but not glowing, and the whites of his eyes actually is pretty white.
His weight was down to 4.15 , but is now back up to 5.2. So weight is looking great, almost to birthweight.
He still doesn't have the energy to cry really, he goes right back to sleep when you put him down. He is so sweet to hold, he just sleeps in your arms. I am loving my time with him, I don't mind this NICU stay at all.
It's poor Dave that has to do all the hard work at home. He is pretty much Super Dad though. I'm so proud of him. He's doing a great job and is so supportive.
Today the doctor thought that we were successful enough that we should bump it up. 2 feeds at the breast, 1 tube feed. We tried and it didn't go well, so we are going to back off and go back to every other.
The doctor also said to take him off of phototherapy today. I was not happy with this decision. For some reason, he came back a few minutes later and looked at his results from this morning. His bilirubin had gone up, and while still below the danger zone, the fact that it's rising tells us that his liver still isn't working that well. Personally, I think the only reason his levels are as low as they are is because of the lights, we never let them get high. He looks really good though, I've never had a baby with a white torso before. His face is still yellow, but not glowing, and the whites of his eyes actually is pretty white.
His weight was down to 4.15 , but is now back up to 5.2. So weight is looking great, almost to birthweight.
He still doesn't have the energy to cry really, he goes right back to sleep when you put him down. He is so sweet to hold, he just sleeps in your arms. I am loving my time with him, I don't mind this NICU stay at all.
It's poor Dave that has to do all the hard work at home. He is pretty much Super Dad though. I'm so proud of him. He's doing a great job and is so supportive.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Walker update
Time for another update on Mr. Walker.
He's starting to act his age. He really doesn't have the energy to nurse very much. Yesterday I think we only had 1 good feed. My milk is in though, so I am pumping and they put it through the feeding tube which goes down his nose. The tube makes him sneeze, and he'll sneeze 7 or 8 times in a row, but only if it gets irritated. The nutritionists want him to have this stuff called Neosure which has 22 calories instead of 20, but he has spit it up every time. He hasn't tolerated formula at all, so we have been lucky to have him in the NICU where they have pasteurized human breastmilk for him if I don't have enough. He's getting most of his feeding through the tube, but yesterday they took out his iv, so all his fluid is coming from breastmilk.
His bilirubin went down yesterday, but up a little today, so we'll see what happens with that.
His nurses are incredible. I have liked all of them that he has had. There is a group of former NICU parents called Common Bonds that does nice things for the parents there. They leave me goodies and cards, they provide a camera and printer for parents there, they are really nice. We even got a crocheted flannel blanket, it's green and cute. Today they are dressing them up, and they had quite a few little costumes. He is going to be Shrek. We can only keep his on for a picture since he's still on lights, but I can't wait to see some of the other babies in their costumes. There aren't very many babies in there, maybe 3 or 4. Evelyn seems to be doing better now, and I've enjoyed chatting with her parents now that she doesn't scream 24/7.
We are now skipping a feeding to see if Walker will save up some energy for the next meal. I'm on my way down there right now, so we'll see if he performs or not.
He's starting to act his age. He really doesn't have the energy to nurse very much. Yesterday I think we only had 1 good feed. My milk is in though, so I am pumping and they put it through the feeding tube which goes down his nose. The tube makes him sneeze, and he'll sneeze 7 or 8 times in a row, but only if it gets irritated. The nutritionists want him to have this stuff called Neosure which has 22 calories instead of 20, but he has spit it up every time. He hasn't tolerated formula at all, so we have been lucky to have him in the NICU where they have pasteurized human breastmilk for him if I don't have enough. He's getting most of his feeding through the tube, but yesterday they took out his iv, so all his fluid is coming from breastmilk.
His bilirubin went down yesterday, but up a little today, so we'll see what happens with that.
His nurses are incredible. I have liked all of them that he has had. There is a group of former NICU parents called Common Bonds that does nice things for the parents there. They leave me goodies and cards, they provide a camera and printer for parents there, they are really nice. We even got a crocheted flannel blanket, it's green and cute. Today they are dressing them up, and they had quite a few little costumes. He is going to be Shrek. We can only keep his on for a picture since he's still on lights, but I can't wait to see some of the other babies in their costumes. There aren't very many babies in there, maybe 3 or 4. Evelyn seems to be doing better now, and I've enjoyed chatting with her parents now that she doesn't scream 24/7.
We are now skipping a feeding to see if Walker will save up some energy for the next meal. I'm on my way down there right now, so we'll see if he performs or not.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Today
Today I was officially discharged from the hospital. But I will be staying in my room on a "hotel" stay which is only $15 a night. It's a wonderful thing that they do that for the NICU parents, then I can continue to go back and forth. My schedule is like this.
-Exit the Mother/Baby unit
-Take the Elevator downstairs
-Enter the NICU
-Scrub up to the Elbows
-Find Walker usually getting his diaper changed (They change the diapers usually and they always weight them)
-Weigh him before the feed
-Sit down and they hand me my baby and a clean blanket and burp cloth
-Hope that he eats well, and sit there doing everything I can to make that happen- usually takes about an hour even though they say they will only give me 3o minutes
-Weigh him to see how much he ate and wait for threats on what they will do next
-Put him away, and make sure he's all hooked up where he needs to be
-Come back to my room
-Pump for 15 minutes, collect milk and clean pumping supplies
-Go to the bathroom
-Try to get some rest for maybe an hour before my 3 hours is up and I start all over again.
So I'm usually getting no more than 1 hour of sleep at a time. Sometimes I have skipped pumping to have a little extra time. And frequently, a phone call or meal takes up part of my sleep time.
So I'm a little tired. I find myself falling asleep in the chair with Walker, which I'd rather not do right now. It's such a different kind of fatigue though, pregnancy fatigue is your whole body all the time. New mom fatigue is a little more like you can push through the tiredness, but if you sit down and relax you can fall asleep instantly. It's a lot more pleasant. Not to mention that I can get comfortable while I sleep, which is wonderful.
Today Walker had at least 2 feeds that were a complete bust. He won't eat for anything during those meals. He won't take a bottle, binky, anything. He is completely uninterested, whether asleep or awake, he's not doing it! He had 1 feed that was decent, and then 1 that was perfect. The volume is increasing, and he was doing a lot of gulping the last time, he seemed very grateful for that.
Even in the best feeds though, the NICU nurse said he is only getting 1/3 of what he is supposed to. So we have been getting threats all day to put in a feeding tube. He is also going to be getting some kind of 22 nutrient something or other supplement every day now. Sounds gross. Helps him get some extra nutrients that a pretermer needs.
His jaundice was up today, but only a little bit. And it dropped on the graph to a lower section. So that was good news, although even if they tell me to, I don't want to take him off the lights yet. I think it will take awhile for his liver to catch up and really break down the bilirubin. Right now, it's probably just from the lights.
His breathing is spectacular. His temperature is good. His heartrate drops occasionally and sets off the monitors. There is no specific reason for this, so the nurses aren't worried about it now. His oxygen levels are almost always perfect. And as far as I know, he hasn't dropped below 5 pounds. The last two days he has hovered right around there.
The biggest problem in the NICU is Evelyn. She is his next door neighbor. She screams all the time. She screams when she's held, fed, whatever. Her parents have been so patient, but I feel really bad for them. They come to visit her and she screams in their face. Her monitors are always going off because she screams so much it messes with her heartrate, oxygen, and breathing. Walker's monitor will have a little window pop up showing what Evelyn is doing when she sets off her monitors. And if her parent's aren't there, I can just hear the NICU nurses eyeballs rolling as they go back to try and comfort her. Poor thing!
Her screaming doesn't bother Walker though. He doesn't seem to notice anything around him but me. He likes me! He wouldn't mind hanging out with me all day. But they say that he rarely makes a peep without me there. So I'm glad to know he isn't screaming when I'm not around.
Walker is getting antibiotics still in case of infection. I think tomorrow he will have the labs done and we will have more conclusive evidence of whether he ever had an infection. If he didn't, he can come off of them tomorrow. They are stinky, I can smell them on him, and I'd love for him to be done so he can come home sooner.
No word on coming home really. He needs to prove himself, and we just have to see day by day how he does on that.
-Exit the Mother/Baby unit
-Take the Elevator downstairs
-Enter the NICU
-Scrub up to the Elbows
-Find Walker usually getting his diaper changed (They change the diapers usually and they always weight them)
-Weigh him before the feed
-Sit down and they hand me my baby and a clean blanket and burp cloth
-Hope that he eats well, and sit there doing everything I can to make that happen- usually takes about an hour even though they say they will only give me 3o minutes
-Weigh him to see how much he ate and wait for threats on what they will do next
-Put him away, and make sure he's all hooked up where he needs to be
-Come back to my room
-Pump for 15 minutes, collect milk and clean pumping supplies
-Go to the bathroom
-Try to get some rest for maybe an hour before my 3 hours is up and I start all over again.
So I'm usually getting no more than 1 hour of sleep at a time. Sometimes I have skipped pumping to have a little extra time. And frequently, a phone call or meal takes up part of my sleep time.
So I'm a little tired. I find myself falling asleep in the chair with Walker, which I'd rather not do right now. It's such a different kind of fatigue though, pregnancy fatigue is your whole body all the time. New mom fatigue is a little more like you can push through the tiredness, but if you sit down and relax you can fall asleep instantly. It's a lot more pleasant. Not to mention that I can get comfortable while I sleep, which is wonderful.
Today Walker had at least 2 feeds that were a complete bust. He won't eat for anything during those meals. He won't take a bottle, binky, anything. He is completely uninterested, whether asleep or awake, he's not doing it! He had 1 feed that was decent, and then 1 that was perfect. The volume is increasing, and he was doing a lot of gulping the last time, he seemed very grateful for that.
Even in the best feeds though, the NICU nurse said he is only getting 1/3 of what he is supposed to. So we have been getting threats all day to put in a feeding tube. He is also going to be getting some kind of 22 nutrient something or other supplement every day now. Sounds gross. Helps him get some extra nutrients that a pretermer needs.
His jaundice was up today, but only a little bit. And it dropped on the graph to a lower section. So that was good news, although even if they tell me to, I don't want to take him off the lights yet. I think it will take awhile for his liver to catch up and really break down the bilirubin. Right now, it's probably just from the lights.
His breathing is spectacular. His temperature is good. His heartrate drops occasionally and sets off the monitors. There is no specific reason for this, so the nurses aren't worried about it now. His oxygen levels are almost always perfect. And as far as I know, he hasn't dropped below 5 pounds. The last two days he has hovered right around there.
The biggest problem in the NICU is Evelyn. She is his next door neighbor. She screams all the time. She screams when she's held, fed, whatever. Her parents have been so patient, but I feel really bad for them. They come to visit her and she screams in their face. Her monitors are always going off because she screams so much it messes with her heartrate, oxygen, and breathing. Walker's monitor will have a little window pop up showing what Evelyn is doing when she sets off her monitors. And if her parent's aren't there, I can just hear the NICU nurses eyeballs rolling as they go back to try and comfort her. Poor thing!
Her screaming doesn't bother Walker though. He doesn't seem to notice anything around him but me. He likes me! He wouldn't mind hanging out with me all day. But they say that he rarely makes a peep without me there. So I'm glad to know he isn't screaming when I'm not around.
Walker is getting antibiotics still in case of infection. I think tomorrow he will have the labs done and we will have more conclusive evidence of whether he ever had an infection. If he didn't, he can come off of them tomorrow. They are stinky, I can smell them on him, and I'd love for him to be done so he can come home sooner.
No word on coming home really. He needs to prove himself, and we just have to see day by day how he does on that.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Walker William Low
Baby Walker was born on Thursday, October 27th at 11:25 am. He weighed in at 5 lbs 4 oz and 18 inches long. He has a decent amount of dark hair (for a Low anyway), but I'm not holding my breath, guessing it will all fall out in a few weeks. He is sweet and adorable, looks just like a Low boy!
Although I was warned that he would stay in the hospital for 3-6 weeks, he is doing awesome. I was told that he absolutely wouldn't stay with me after birth, but he stayed for an hour and I was able to feed him. His next two feeds he didn't even suck once. But then he ate well all night, so we are on our way! His glucose is what initially took him to the NICU, but he has kept that high enough on his own today. He hasn't required any breathing assistance, looks like those steroids did the trick! He is showing some indication that he may have an infection, so he is being treated for that with antibiotics. If his culture comes back negative, he will likely be able to go home on Sunday or Monday.
He takes after his brothers with jaundice....well actually he is showing them up. He was put on the billilights shortly after he was 24 hours old. That's quite unusual, so I'm sure we'll be fighting the jaundice fight for awhile. But they probably won't keep him in the NICU for that.
The very experienced NICU nurse says she has never seen a 34 week baby eat that well. He has made everyone very impressed.
He has hardly cried at all. A little bit of squeeking, but very little crying so far.....don't think I'm naive enough to think that will last though!
I actually love having him in the NICU. It takes up a lot of time because I have to go down to the NICU for about an hour to feed and spend time with him, then I come back upstairs to pump. Add a bathroom trip and a meal in there and it's almost time to go back down. But I LOVE the NICU staff, and how well they take care of everything. Everything is monitored, every diaper weighed, we know exactly where he's at all the time on everything, so there is no need to worry. They are always taking good care of me too, they bring me drinks, offer me the boppy, hand me clean blankets and burp cloths. His binky hit the floor and they just threw it out and got him a new one. They even decorated his room with Halloween signs with his name on them. I need to get a picture of that.
I feel fantastic. I haven't even had Tylenol, not any drugs at all. I slept on my tummy last night, it felt so good! My nurse said she has worked here for a few years and she has never seen a mom come walking up from L&D herself before. I felt instantly better, and without an epidural, I could walk perfectly. I am so happy to have my baby here, and I love how that changes the dynamics of a family. These early days of having a baby are so magical, I wish I could slow time down and enjoy them longer!
This hospital is incredible. The nurses have all been perfect! My doctors are tremendous, you couldn't ask for anything more. The facility is nice, and the food is done like room service and I keep getting the most incredible meals!
I dare say this has all worked out wonderfully, although it wasn't anyone's first choice, it has been great! I feel very blessed.
More posts and pictures to come!
Although I was warned that he would stay in the hospital for 3-6 weeks, he is doing awesome. I was told that he absolutely wouldn't stay with me after birth, but he stayed for an hour and I was able to feed him. His next two feeds he didn't even suck once. But then he ate well all night, so we are on our way! His glucose is what initially took him to the NICU, but he has kept that high enough on his own today. He hasn't required any breathing assistance, looks like those steroids did the trick! He is showing some indication that he may have an infection, so he is being treated for that with antibiotics. If his culture comes back negative, he will likely be able to go home on Sunday or Monday.
He takes after his brothers with jaundice....well actually he is showing them up. He was put on the billilights shortly after he was 24 hours old. That's quite unusual, so I'm sure we'll be fighting the jaundice fight for awhile. But they probably won't keep him in the NICU for that.
The very experienced NICU nurse says she has never seen a 34 week baby eat that well. He has made everyone very impressed.
He has hardly cried at all. A little bit of squeeking, but very little crying so far.....don't think I'm naive enough to think that will last though!
I actually love having him in the NICU. It takes up a lot of time because I have to go down to the NICU for about an hour to feed and spend time with him, then I come back upstairs to pump. Add a bathroom trip and a meal in there and it's almost time to go back down. But I LOVE the NICU staff, and how well they take care of everything. Everything is monitored, every diaper weighed, we know exactly where he's at all the time on everything, so there is no need to worry. They are always taking good care of me too, they bring me drinks, offer me the boppy, hand me clean blankets and burp cloths. His binky hit the floor and they just threw it out and got him a new one. They even decorated his room with Halloween signs with his name on them. I need to get a picture of that.
I feel fantastic. I haven't even had Tylenol, not any drugs at all. I slept on my tummy last night, it felt so good! My nurse said she has worked here for a few years and she has never seen a mom come walking up from L&D herself before. I felt instantly better, and without an epidural, I could walk perfectly. I am so happy to have my baby here, and I love how that changes the dynamics of a family. These early days of having a baby are so magical, I wish I could slow time down and enjoy them longer!
This hospital is incredible. The nurses have all been perfect! My doctors are tremendous, you couldn't ask for anything more. The facility is nice, and the food is done like room service and I keep getting the most incredible meals!
I dare say this has all worked out wonderfully, although it wasn't anyone's first choice, it has been great! I feel very blessed.
More posts and pictures to come!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Your birthday
Today is your birthday baby Walker. Born 4 years and one day later than your big brother Henry, and born in the very same room. It's 3:50 am and I woke up crying. I woke up to an empty room wishing it wasn't empty. I looked around and was hoping it had more people in it than I saw, but I felt nothing. Where are they? I know they'll come! It made me cry more.
I've never done this before. I've never woke up knowing that it would be the day. I am so sorry. No one thinks you are ready to come out. I'm so sorry I failed you. You should have 2 more weeks, 2 more pounds.
There hasn't been a nurse who hasn't called you happy. You are so happy to be in there, you play almost all day when babies are supposed to stop and nap. I wish I could leave you there awhile longer.....safely. You are sleeping now though. Your heart rate is 127, when you play it's up in the 150's.
In a few hours, grandma will go meet your brothers at home and dad will make his way up to the hospital. We'll do what it takes to bring you safely out of me and hope that you can spend as much time as you can in my arms.
I love you Baby Walker. I have loved you before you existed on this Earth. You are so wanted and prayed for, and just exactly what your brothers can't wait to have in their life! They ask about you every day. You should have seen your father's face when he saw you the first time on ultrasound. There is no one happier to be having a new son than him.
Please be safe little guy. Be strong. Life will be hard and overwhelming at first, oh what I wouldn't give to keep you in a safe womb for longer. A womb that wouldn't risk making you sick before you are born. I'm sorry baby!
Come what may today Walker, Happy Birthday. Your mommy already loves you more than words! Good luck on your big day. I've finally recognized that this is your day and not mine.
I've never done this before. I've never woke up knowing that it would be the day. I am so sorry. No one thinks you are ready to come out. I'm so sorry I failed you. You should have 2 more weeks, 2 more pounds.
There hasn't been a nurse who hasn't called you happy. You are so happy to be in there, you play almost all day when babies are supposed to stop and nap. I wish I could leave you there awhile longer.....safely. You are sleeping now though. Your heart rate is 127, when you play it's up in the 150's.
In a few hours, grandma will go meet your brothers at home and dad will make his way up to the hospital. We'll do what it takes to bring you safely out of me and hope that you can spend as much time as you can in my arms.
I love you Baby Walker. I have loved you before you existed on this Earth. You are so wanted and prayed for, and just exactly what your brothers can't wait to have in their life! They ask about you every day. You should have seen your father's face when he saw you the first time on ultrasound. There is no one happier to be having a new son than him.
Please be safe little guy. Be strong. Life will be hard and overwhelming at first, oh what I wouldn't give to keep you in a safe womb for longer. A womb that wouldn't risk making you sick before you are born. I'm sorry baby!
Come what may today Walker, Happy Birthday. Your mommy already loves you more than words! Good luck on your big day. I've finally recognized that this is your day and not mine.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Baby Post
Not feeling like blogging, but I love to have records of pregnancy.
This weekend at 32.5 weeks I had a dr's appt and 2 trips to L&D to get the Betamethasone shots for baby Walker's lungs. At the appt I was about 2 cm and 60% effaced baby at -1. I got two shots, 24 hours apart, and I can tell a huge difference now. The steroids take full effect by 48 hours, and this little baby's hiccups just doubled in their strength. I dare say that his lungs are developed now, not that we are ready for him to come yet, but whenever he decides the time is, he will be ready. Trying to hold him in as long as possible, but not trying to set too lofty of goals. I'm guessing still that he will be here by November 8th which is in 21 days (36 weeks).
Contractions are sparse most of the time, but always occur with movement (standing up, rolling over, etc.) Sometimes get more consistent, but I'm pretty good about getting them to go away since I've been doing this for so long. The steroids made me extremely ill, but that mostly went away. I'm still left with nausea right now and I'm not sure what that is about. Lost my breakfast this morning and felt pretty sorry for myself.
All in all though, I'm doing great. I'm happy and enjoying my life and my kids right now. Slighty braindead, but that seems to be normal for me now. I'm excited to have a new baby, but enjoying my time with him inside as I know it won't last forever!
This weekend at 32.5 weeks I had a dr's appt and 2 trips to L&D to get the Betamethasone shots for baby Walker's lungs. At the appt I was about 2 cm and 60% effaced baby at -1. I got two shots, 24 hours apart, and I can tell a huge difference now. The steroids take full effect by 48 hours, and this little baby's hiccups just doubled in their strength. I dare say that his lungs are developed now, not that we are ready for him to come yet, but whenever he decides the time is, he will be ready. Trying to hold him in as long as possible, but not trying to set too lofty of goals. I'm guessing still that he will be here by November 8th which is in 21 days (36 weeks).
Contractions are sparse most of the time, but always occur with movement (standing up, rolling over, etc.) Sometimes get more consistent, but I'm pretty good about getting them to go away since I've been doing this for so long. The steroids made me extremely ill, but that mostly went away. I'm still left with nausea right now and I'm not sure what that is about. Lost my breakfast this morning and felt pretty sorry for myself.
All in all though, I'm doing great. I'm happy and enjoying my life and my kids right now. Slighty braindead, but that seems to be normal for me now. I'm excited to have a new baby, but enjoying my time with him inside as I know it won't last forever!
Monday, September 12, 2011
Preparing for Baby Walker
We have lived here for 5 years now. I have had 3 soon to be 4 babies live in this nursery. And I never totally finished decorating it. Sad, I know. No one ever looks at my nursery anyway, they only do that with the first baby. So there are bare spots on the walls, and the pictures aren't current... Oh well. But we just did the deep clean to get it ready for baby Walker. I'm still not quite ready to move G. out, but at least it's clean now. I have a checklist of things to do to get ready for the baby, and so now this is checked off...... except I still need to move the clothes around a re-organize the closet.
I got rid of my wooden glider and we bought this old leather rocker/recliner from someone off KSL. I was so sick of my head bobbing at night while I nurse the baby, so now I can lean back and sleep while the baby eats. Comfort has trumped looks. That WASN'T the case when I had Isaac!
I was sitting in my new rocker yesterday and Dave walked in. He grabbed the bag of ABC blocks and formed the name "Walker." It was like crowning the prince. It made me smile. I *think* that these blocks belonged to Walker's great great grandma Low. It would be the wife of William Walker Low's grandson Alfred. So fitting with his name to have some family history in the nursery.
So while I will never finish my nursery, here it is (difficult to capture with my zoom lens on, but whatever)
I got rid of my wooden glider and we bought this old leather rocker/recliner from someone off KSL. I was so sick of my head bobbing at night while I nurse the baby, so now I can lean back and sleep while the baby eats. Comfort has trumped looks. That WASN'T the case when I had Isaac!
I was sitting in my new rocker yesterday and Dave walked in. He grabbed the bag of ABC blocks and formed the name "Walker." It was like crowning the prince. It made me smile. I *think* that these blocks belonged to Walker's great great grandma Low. It would be the wife of William Walker Low's grandson Alfred. So fitting with his name to have some family history in the nursery.
So while I will never finish my nursery, here it is (difficult to capture with my zoom lens on, but whatever)
School
Oh school just saves me! I love my children so much more when I get more one on one time with them. And I am so much more sane when we have bedtimes and schedules. Summer is rough for me, although it was a really fun summer!
Isaac started school first, and it's been wonderful for him. He loves to go every day, can't wait for the next day. I told him he was old enough that he needed to shower in the morning every day. Make sure that he's nice and clean for school, without drool in the corners of his mouth or eye boogers! He wakes up, showers, gets dressed, eats his breakfast, and checks what is for lunch all by himself. I am awake, but he just does it all himself, and does it so fast that I can't seem to keep up. He is so independent, responsible, and sweet. He knows what time to leave, and gives himself plenty of time so we don't worry about missing the bus. I just don't know what more I could ask for.
It would seem that Isaac is the perfect child, but somehow, his presence stirs up drama. I think that's one thing about summer that is hard on me, a lot more fighting when he's around. But when he has school, he is so cheerful and everyone here gets along much better. *Sigh of relief*
Henry started school second, he is doing joy school. He is as happy as can be, and although he is so very clueless, he is with kids younger than him and will appear more intelligent! Haha. I think he'll learn alot, and next year I plan to send him to Sports Academy where I have high expectations of him becoming Kindergarten ready. He is so cute, I am happy to send him to school and not worry about him much.
Dawson started his 3rd year at Sports Academy, not what I had originally planned to do with him, but it all worked out this way. He is in a class with a couple of other July babies who didn't go to Kindergarten this year either. So I think the class will be fairly advanced and just perfect for him. He started out the year with a little stress, just like other years, but seems to be okay now. His backpack was torn, so I gave him a Lightning McQueen backpack and he was sure everyone was going to make fun of him. What? Dawson doesn't like to wake up, he got two wake ups this morning, and he begged me to go back upstairs and he would be right up. I told him I wasn't leaving until he was out of bed. He's a lot slower and tougher to get ready for school, but hopefully next year he will get on Isaac's schedule as they walk to the bus together.
With boy number five coming, we have officially created our own basketball team. How cool is that? Although I probably never would have chosen to have 5 boys in a row when we started this family, it has proven to be the most amazing thing for us! These boys are all best friends. They really don't have much need for any friends outside the home. They rarely ask if they can go play with anyone, and they are so bonded together. I daresay it's a bond that just wouldn't have happened with a mixed gender family. Not saying it's better than what anyone else has, but it has to be different, right? It's quite a unique thing to me, again, I wouldn't have chosen this, given the opportunity to choose, yet it's become a great blessing for our family and I would never give it up now! People keep asking if I'm going to try for a girl, and I can honestly say that at this point, I hope for 6 boys. A girl would be so out of place in this family!
It's so cute, these boys are very close in age, yet far enough apart that they do have some different interests right now. G. Jesse isn't quite as adept in Lego building as Isaac (although pretty darn good for a 2 year old), and Isaac and Daws are less likely to be found with Toy Story characters than the younger two. But I so frequently find them all playing together, even if it's with different stuff. I'll see all 4 boys playing in the same room, or same little area on the carpet, just wanting to be together even while they do totally different things.
We teach these boys that no one is more important than your brother. Friends will come and go, but your brother will always be there for you, your BEST FRIEND! Dave latched on to the basketball team thing, and bought them all matching Nikes for school this year. We've found that our Nikes have held up better than any other shoes we've gotten the boys, so hopefully this was worth the money. It wasn't cheap! Dave wants them to feel the "team spirit" to do anything he can to continue the bond that these boys have right now. It's cute.
Walking to joy school
Dawson's cheesy first day smile- doesn't reflect how he was actually feeling
Isaac didn't get a picture. He just moved so fast that morning, I wasn't ready for him to just leave like that. Oh well.
Isaac started school first, and it's been wonderful for him. He loves to go every day, can't wait for the next day. I told him he was old enough that he needed to shower in the morning every day. Make sure that he's nice and clean for school, without drool in the corners of his mouth or eye boogers! He wakes up, showers, gets dressed, eats his breakfast, and checks what is for lunch all by himself. I am awake, but he just does it all himself, and does it so fast that I can't seem to keep up. He is so independent, responsible, and sweet. He knows what time to leave, and gives himself plenty of time so we don't worry about missing the bus. I just don't know what more I could ask for.
It would seem that Isaac is the perfect child, but somehow, his presence stirs up drama. I think that's one thing about summer that is hard on me, a lot more fighting when he's around. But when he has school, he is so cheerful and everyone here gets along much better. *Sigh of relief*
Henry started school second, he is doing joy school. He is as happy as can be, and although he is so very clueless, he is with kids younger than him and will appear more intelligent! Haha. I think he'll learn alot, and next year I plan to send him to Sports Academy where I have high expectations of him becoming Kindergarten ready. He is so cute, I am happy to send him to school and not worry about him much.
Dawson started his 3rd year at Sports Academy, not what I had originally planned to do with him, but it all worked out this way. He is in a class with a couple of other July babies who didn't go to Kindergarten this year either. So I think the class will be fairly advanced and just perfect for him. He started out the year with a little stress, just like other years, but seems to be okay now. His backpack was torn, so I gave him a Lightning McQueen backpack and he was sure everyone was going to make fun of him. What? Dawson doesn't like to wake up, he got two wake ups this morning, and he begged me to go back upstairs and he would be right up. I told him I wasn't leaving until he was out of bed. He's a lot slower and tougher to get ready for school, but hopefully next year he will get on Isaac's schedule as they walk to the bus together.
With boy number five coming, we have officially created our own basketball team. How cool is that? Although I probably never would have chosen to have 5 boys in a row when we started this family, it has proven to be the most amazing thing for us! These boys are all best friends. They really don't have much need for any friends outside the home. They rarely ask if they can go play with anyone, and they are so bonded together. I daresay it's a bond that just wouldn't have happened with a mixed gender family. Not saying it's better than what anyone else has, but it has to be different, right? It's quite a unique thing to me, again, I wouldn't have chosen this, given the opportunity to choose, yet it's become a great blessing for our family and I would never give it up now! People keep asking if I'm going to try for a girl, and I can honestly say that at this point, I hope for 6 boys. A girl would be so out of place in this family!
It's so cute, these boys are very close in age, yet far enough apart that they do have some different interests right now. G. Jesse isn't quite as adept in Lego building as Isaac (although pretty darn good for a 2 year old), and Isaac and Daws are less likely to be found with Toy Story characters than the younger two. But I so frequently find them all playing together, even if it's with different stuff. I'll see all 4 boys playing in the same room, or same little area on the carpet, just wanting to be together even while they do totally different things.
We teach these boys that no one is more important than your brother. Friends will come and go, but your brother will always be there for you, your BEST FRIEND! Dave latched on to the basketball team thing, and bought them all matching Nikes for school this year. We've found that our Nikes have held up better than any other shoes we've gotten the boys, so hopefully this was worth the money. It wasn't cheap! Dave wants them to feel the "team spirit" to do anything he can to continue the bond that these boys have right now. It's cute.
Walking to joy school
Dawson's cheesy first day smile- doesn't reflect how he was actually feeling
Isaac didn't get a picture. He just moved so fast that morning, I wasn't ready for him to just leave like that. Oh well.
Top of Utah Half Marathon
I would love to be a runner. I have asthma, and it is very difficult to run. My husband on the other hand, has no interest in being a runner. Yet he has a natural talent for running. So I had mentioned to him in the past that he could probably run a half marathon without training. I never thought he would actually do it.
He signed up for the Top of Utah Half Marathon in the spring, figuring he would start training a few months before the race. He never did. He ran a couple of times, maybe a total of 8 miles before the race.....
The morning of the race, I begged him not to go. I was sure he was going to die. He was excited, and not about to pull out for me. So I dropped him off at the race with the promise that he would call me hourly.
1:45 into the race and he hadn't called me yet. I was starting to plan how our family would survive on our life insurance money and social security. Trying to calculate if I would need to get a job when Walker was in 1st grade...... I hopped in my car, left Isaac to babysit, and went to find him. I drove up the highway until I got to Hollow Road, and I parked, and started walking up Hollow Road. It wasn't too long before I saw him (He was wearing a white shirt, white shorts, and black socks, not too hard to spot!) I was so happy to see him, and he was running with a friend. He ran the whole race with this friend. I ran with him for about 1/10th of a mile (which made me very sore later) and then I walked back to my car. I went home and got the kids, and we barely made it to see him pass by the bottom of our hill. We rushed to the finish line, and again only stood there about 20 seconds when he ran by. It was so wonderful to see him still alive at the end of the race, and he ran the whole thing. His time was 2:30 and a few seconds. Not too bad for not training.
I was very proud of him, and of course, even more in love with him that he could do so well. I told him he'd have to run it again next year with me..... and it will surely be much easier, because I can't run it that fast!
Running past the bottom of our hill
Crossing the finish line
He did it!
He signed up for the Top of Utah Half Marathon in the spring, figuring he would start training a few months before the race. He never did. He ran a couple of times, maybe a total of 8 miles before the race.....
The morning of the race, I begged him not to go. I was sure he was going to die. He was excited, and not about to pull out for me. So I dropped him off at the race with the promise that he would call me hourly.
1:45 into the race and he hadn't called me yet. I was starting to plan how our family would survive on our life insurance money and social security. Trying to calculate if I would need to get a job when Walker was in 1st grade...... I hopped in my car, left Isaac to babysit, and went to find him. I drove up the highway until I got to Hollow Road, and I parked, and started walking up Hollow Road. It wasn't too long before I saw him (He was wearing a white shirt, white shorts, and black socks, not too hard to spot!) I was so happy to see him, and he was running with a friend. He ran the whole race with this friend. I ran with him for about 1/10th of a mile (which made me very sore later) and then I walked back to my car. I went home and got the kids, and we barely made it to see him pass by the bottom of our hill. We rushed to the finish line, and again only stood there about 20 seconds when he ran by. It was so wonderful to see him still alive at the end of the race, and he ran the whole thing. His time was 2:30 and a few seconds. Not too bad for not training.
I was very proud of him, and of course, even more in love with him that he could do so well. I told him he'd have to run it again next year with me..... and it will surely be much easier, because I can't run it that fast!
Running past the bottom of our hill
Crossing the finish line
He did it!
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