Jessica Lee Biada

Yesterday was the passing of my older sister Jessica. She just had her 31st birthday the week before.

Jessica has been suffering from gastroporesis for the last 2 years, and as a result she had a central line going into her blood stream so she could administer anti-nausea drugs and IV fluids to herself at home. Through this central line she developed Sepsis, or an infection in her blood. They think she might have had endocarditis, or an infection in her heart as well. She went into the hospital last Sunday with a small fever, and over the course of the week she continued to deteriorate from the infection. Her lungs filled up with fluid as she laid in bed, and her heart struggled as the infection took over. She was very uncomfortable, and had a bi-pap breathing machine on that breathed for her. As a result of her discomfort, they had to keep her heavily sedated to prevent her from pulling her equipment off.

Every morning this week I woke up thinking she wouldn't have made it through the night, but Jessica has always been a fighter, and her body wouldn't give up. We laughed as we called her "stable in her critical condition." I don't know how many people can live that long in such critical condition. I had the wonderful privilege of visiting her on Thursday. My sweet siblings watched my children, and I got to spend some time with my parents at the hospital with Jess. Her eyes were closed but she still had some form of consciousness at that point. My Mom told me what to do, so I leaned in close to her and said really loud, "Open your eyes, it's me Erica, your sister." Jessica often said, "It's me Jessica, your sister." when she called me, so I thought it was kind of funny that that was what came out of my mouth. Anyway, she opened her eyes for a brief second to look at me. She couldn't really talk, but she whispered/mouthed to me, "I love you." What a sweet experience that was for me, and what a wonderful last thing to say to your sister. I'll never forget that, and I'm so grateful I was there that day.

She progressively got worse, and on Saturday the Dr.'s and nurses called my Mom in for a meeting to talk about what to do. It seems that she wasn't gaining any ground on her infection, and they couldn't do anything more for her breathing without putting her on a ventilator. She was left without any chance of recovery at this point

My mother called us and we quickly packed and drove to Bountiful. It was snowing and raining, and we ran into traffic, I was worried we wouldn't make it as her heart was really struggling. We dropped off our children again, and made it to the hospital in time. My dad and Dave gave Jessica a priesthood blessing, and released her from this life. She died shortly after.

I was very worried about being there when she died, but it was a very neat experience. One of the most sacred things I have ever witnessed. As special as it is to witness a baby take it's first breath, it is special to witness a person taking their last. I felt so much peace to know that she was relieved of her suffering, as she has had so much throughout her life and especially this week. I am grateful to have shared that moment with her, Dave, and my parents, and it is something I will never forget.

Although many tears have and will be shed, there is still a feeling of peace in our family. There are still smiles much of the time, even though we break down and sob while we hold each other at other times. We still expect her to come walking out of her room at any time. I don't know how we could have been more prepared for this experience, yet it still seems like kind of a shock. It will take time to heal, and time to sink in fully. But we will be okay. We wish she could have stayed with us, but we know it's okay for her to go. We can't forget how much better she is now.

The funeral arrangements aren't complete, but we are tentatively planning on having a viewing Thursday and funeral Friday morning. All are welcome to come, if you would like to, please do. I will post the obituary and details when we get them.