One Year

Today, Monday, September 29th, marks one year from the time Jessy died. Today, here are some things I am grateful for:

-That we are one year closer to seeing her again. I figure with every passing day, that brings us one day closer to the time when we get to be with her again, however that may be

-That she is healthy, no more sickness for her.

-That Aimee doesn't have to celebrate her birthday (tomorrow) with tainted feelings about how sad that day was last year.

-That I can play the piano and remember her. She played almost all the same songs that I play (She played many more than me too.) When I play sometimes I picture her craving the piano. I'm sure she does. I hope she gets some satisfaction from her sisters playing.

-That I have two incredible younger sisters whom I adore (And surprisingly enough they seem to adore me too, strange I know.) With the big hole that Aimee and Jessica left in our family, we have two little girls who have become more significant in our family as they grow up. They fill in a lot of that gap for me as they become more like friends and less like little girls who get into my stuff and ruin my makeup (Ahem Kate, don't touch my makeup anymore!) Lauren is 16, gets her license this week, wears the same size jeans as me, allowed me to help her ask to the dance this week, and is turning into one of my best friends. And Kate... wishes she was 16, getting her license this week, wearing the same size jeans as me, allowing me to help her ask to the dance this week, and seriously, how could you not love her for it! On this day that I remember the loss of not just one, but two sisters, I am so grateful that my Mom suffered through two miserable pregnancies in her forties to provide me with these two little sisters to hold our family together and to my sisters for being so awesome... all of them!

-That all the death stuff is behind us (hopefully.) It seemed like so much to deal with in just one year, but then I think about dealing with it one year, and then doing it again a few years later. I'm glad the girls left together. I know that there will be plenty more death in my life, but those were two VERY significant deaths, and I'm glad I got to heal the two wounds together.

I am so blessed, I have a hard time feeling sad today. I feel more grateful. I wish Jessica were here, but I understand that the Lord is merciful, and has blessed us tremendously through all of our trials.