These are the days..... to remember

As we were strolling through Las Vegas The Cranberries' song, "These are the days" was playing. It hasn't quite left my head since then, and thus the title of my post. :)

I thought I would share with you my latest parenting goal. Of course I have currently many goals, and have had many goals in the past, but this is my latest, one that has really moved in and settled, made itself at home in my parenting.

In times of stress, (you know the yucky stress that only adults feel, not the "Ahh, my jam is dripping out of my peanut butter sandwich!" stress that kids feel... not to belittle that kind of stress though.) But anyway, in times of stress I look at my children's lives and think how wonderful and easy it must be to be little. Really, every need they have is met, if not instantly than definitely after a few minutes of whining. Life is full of make believe, which is so real! Adults can't seem to slip into that pretend world anymore. Laughter is natural and instinctive- A study said that kids laugh 300 times a day, and adults only 15 on average. My children can sleep whenever they want, and basically eat whatever they want (since they don't choose to eat much of anything). To me it looks like a great life, especially in those moments when I'm less than thrilled with my life.

Truly childhood was magical for me. I had a good Mom. She was my best friend, and as far as I was concerned she lived to please me. I have nothing but good memories of my Mom, no matter how hard I dig (and I have a REALLY good memory). I really try to be like my Mom, but always fall short. (So that isn't the goal I am talking about today) Are you getting curious, or did you just give up and stop reading? I'm getting to what my goal is.

Dave came home from teaching his adult religion class one night with a little philosophy from a wise old man. The man said that probably very few children even get 5 minutes a day from their parent of one on one. NO! you might think. Not me! I'm a good parent. Or, like it or not I'm with them ALL DAY! But really, how much time is one-on-one? I have 3 kids now. It's quite easy to "herd" them all day- "You eat this and you eat this. And you sit here, and you come with me over here. You get to wear this, you this, and you this. Would you just watch this, and leave him alone!" See what I mean?

So my goal has been to not only increase my one-on-one time, but my playtime with the kids. And also to make those times magical. I want these kids to feel like these ARE days to remember. And I want them to remember ONLY the good times of course, since unlike my mother I HAVE bad times as well.

It's a great goal of course, most goals are good, but how do you implement it? It becomes so easy to plant your kids in front of Dora and call it "Spanish Lessons." To sit your kid in a corner with some books and let them "read." Or to sit them at the bar with a peanut butter sandwich and yell from the couch, "You can't play your games until that sandwich is gone!" And still you can feel like a good parent, because your children's needs are met, probably met better than most children in the world. But to really get your kids to spend time with you isn't always easy. And certainly making it magical takes a lot of creativity

A few years ago I read in a magazine a story of a woman whose last child was really being naughty. She struggled with this little girl, and was beside herself with how to deal with her troubled child. She prayed for help, and that night her deceased grandmother came to her in her dream. She asked only one question, "Are you playing with her?" The woman realized that she was just tending her daughter, but not playing with her. After she changed her parenting, and played with her more, the discipline problems disappeared.

I shared that story with Dave, and whenever he calls from work and I tell him the kids are being bad he reminds me of that story and asks, "Have you played with them?"

So I made this goal, and I have slowly gotten better at it. I have picked up tips from other mothers, and I even found a great website with tips- www.familyfun.com.

I have had so much fun with my kids in the process of this goal, and like I said it has become easier and more a part of my parenting. Here are some of the things we have done this week for our "fun time"

-Had a band- Isaac, Dawson, and I marched around the house with various instruments (a bottle of pills, a pot lid and a spoon, 2 pot lids as cymbals, and eventually a guitar). We sang songs, and then played along to some songs from our collection. Isaac took it very seriously when a new song started and he had to pick a new instrument to go along with that particular song.

-Played "Alligators in the swamp." We scattered socks on the floor around the room and tried not to step on the "alligators". We said,"Don't step on the alligators." and I was thinking it would get old fast when one of the alligators found it's way onto my hand and the alligators ate/tickled the boys. Then alligators found their way onto the boys hands and they chased me.

-Sang some new songs and some old songs while I played the guitar.

-Played "gymnastics" (I taught preschool tumbling for awhile, I might as well use those skills.)

-Follow the Leader- take turns being the leader

-Danced to Christmas songs

-Watched You-tube videos of "The Magical Garden", a show from my childhood. Brooke got me into this nostalgia thing after she showed "Duck Tales" to our boys. It was so funny, one of the comments on the You-tube videos called Paula and Carole (the stars of the Magical Garden show) "The original Indigo Girls." Hilarious! Maybe that's why I like the Indigo Girls so much, I grew up watching 2 hippie women with a guitar. (But Paula and Carole aren't lesbians)

As we marched around the house in our "marching band" I caught a glimpse of our striking band, and realized that these aren't only the days for my boys to remember, but for me too. These are great days of motherhood, and they will last such a short time. In 10 years, I will have moved on to other fun parenting experiences, and I will look back on these times and hopefully remember the fun things we did and not remember when I found my camera charger soaking in the sink or how many times I had to pick up the box of 200 Q-tips before I threw it out. Or how many boxes of tampons got unwrapped, or how many countries I could have fed with the food Dawson threw on the floor. Or how I had to keep the Clorox spray in Isaac's bathroom after he learned that other boys stand up when they go to the bathroom. Okay, enough... but those things are funny too when you look back on them.


So now you know my latest parenting goal. Along with it I've tried to be more patient, more validating, and tell them that I love them more (even though I already did that 100 times a day). I love being a Mom. It isn't glamorous, that's for sure! But I love it. I recently found out about a former friend of Dave's who is quite successful in her career, and appears to have a very glamorous life. It made me feel bad for a moment as I looked down at my deflated, post partum body, and looked back of my day of grilled cheese sandwiches and diaper changes. I actually teared up and asked Dave if he wished he weren't married to me. (Silly question, I'm the best thing that ever happened to him!) But I truly believe that this life of parenting brings joy that you cannot attain otherwise. I don't see how I could be as happy without these kids, I'm so grateful the Lord has blessed me with them. Hopefully I don't let Him down as I raise these precious little guys that he has entrusted me with. I definitely am still learning. But in the mean time, while I work towards being the perfect parent, I'm still trying to make life fun for these boys.

P.S. If you actually read all of that you get a gold star