The funeral

I first of all want to thank you all for the sweet comments you have left me. They truly mean so much, it's so nice to know how much you all care. Thank you!

The funeral and the viewing went really well. It was so neat to see the support and love people showed, and to see who would make the effort to come out and give that support. Really, on the whole, it was a very positive experience. A celebration of her life, and an outpouring of love from friends and family. My Aunt Mame flew in for the occasion, for just barely over 24 hours, and we loved spending time with her. 2 of my Mother's dear friends from New Jersey also flew in.

There were so many flowers, so many meals, and so many hugs! I just wish Jessy could have talked with us about it, it's just the kind of event she would have loved! In general conference yesterday, Elder Edgely spoke of a ward who comes together in service and support in times of need. I was reminded of my parent's ward, both current and past wards, who really pulled together to make everything about the funeral wonderful. I hope my Mom has a really big stack of Thank you cards, and maybe a weekend retreat planned to write them all, because there were so many people involved, who sacrificed so much.

Jessica looked beautiful, she has such a beautiful white dress. She also wore the apron that I handstitched her for Christmas last year. Her casket was purple, her favorite color, and had music notes stitched on the top so all would remember her love for music. Before she died she had scanned in pictures of her throughout her life, and even chosen music to accompany it, so Lauren put together a slide show. It was beautiful!

The funeral services were beautiful. I had the wonderful opportunity to give the eulogy, which I really enjoyed writing. A good friend of the family, John Harmer, and the bishop, gave beautiful talks about her. And Marianne Featherstone sang Be Still my Soul, and of course nailed it. The only problem with the services was the temper tantrum my 3-year old threw at the beginning, but he pulled himself together, and was fine for the rest of it.

I promised I would post the eulogy on here, but it is really long, so be prepared.

President Spencer W. Kimball said, “It has been said that the death of a righteous man is never untimely because our Father sets the time. I believe that with all my soul.”

Jessica Lee Biada was born September 18, 1976 in Rochester, Minnesota. The second daughter of George and Ann Biada, and the baby sister of Aimee Biada. She was born 12 days short of 2 years apart from Aimee. Jessica was given her middle name after her paternal grandmother Lee Biada, and the similarities between the two of them were amazing. Grandma passed away exactly 3 months before Jessica this year, and both of these women were incredible fighters right until the very end, defying almost all rules of medicine to pull through illnesses and sicknesses that many of us could never survive, and leaving doctors baffled and bewildered. The similarities between Grandma and Jessica didn’t end there. At Grandma’s funeral my uncle said, “There are many words to describe her- stubborn, difficult- I don’t want to use the word cantankerous at her funeral.” I won’t use that word either… at Jessica’s funeral, but I’m not saying there weren’t many times at home that I thought it. Grandma and Jessica shared a special bond through their name, their temperament, and their will to live… and now they are back together again.

Jessica’s favorite quote for over 10 years was, “Remember to smile.... it makes people wonder what you’re up to.” She had a beautiful big smile with dimples on either side, I will never forget it.

Jessica’s health problems began before she was even born. In the womb they theorize that she suffered a heart attack or stroke that caused her so much pain she kicked her mother and broke her rib. She was born with a severely defected heart, one that caused a lot of problems for her throughout her life.

Aimee and Jessica grew up as a pair- the 2 little girls. My mother enjoyed dressing them alike, and beamed with pride as a young mother with 2 precious daughters. Jessica was not the most saavy person, and Aimee, as the older sister, took advantage of that as she played hairdresser- cutting off Jessica’s beautiful blond baby curls, was Dorothy while Jessica had to be a munchkin, and was ALWAYS Miss America while Jessica could be first runner up. But Jessica was always reminded that in the case that Miss America could not fulfill her duties, she would have the chance at the crown. Although Jessica was a little bit bossed around by her big sister, Aimee was a great sister to her, and they shared a special bond through their closeness in age. Jessica admired Aimee greatly, for all 31 years.

5 years after Jessica was born, her parents had recovered enough to have another child, another daughter- beautiful and talented of course- named Erica. This sister was another strong personality, and gave Jessica a run for her money too. But there were times when Jessica outsmarted this little sister of hers. The story goes that Jessica tricked me into thinking that when I hung upside down all the blood rushed to my head, and it could explode. When I was a child I reached for something behind our chest freezer and somehow wedged myself upside down between the wall and freezer. As I hung there screaming, my family laughed hysterically at my flailing legs, and I panicked of my exploding head. This was one of Jessica’s favorite stories because she REALLY outsmarted me that time. Jessica was the only sister I ever rode the schoolbus with and we shared a room for many years. These were some of the prime years that Jess drove me crazy, but they were also years that bonded us together through memories and love. I loved Jessica very much, and the last words we spoke with each other were I love you.

As Aimee, Jessica, and I grew up together as the first “leg” of the Biada family, we had a lot of fun together. One of Jessica’s favorite things to do was to play “hurt”. Aimee designed a state of the art cast made from newspaper and masking tape for us, and we all “broke our legs” and needed crutches. We were very creative in our selection of crutches finding broomsticks, batons, and whatever else was around, and walking around “hurt”. We really did enjoy growing up together- the family of three girls.

Jessica was the first member of our family to be baptized right when she turned 8 years old, and she was baptized by a dear friend of the family as our Dad was not yet a member of the church. On February 17, 1990 each of the three girls of the family knelt at the altar of the Washington D.C. temple alongside our parents and were sealed together for time and all eternity. How grateful we are for that experience and the knowledge of eternal families at this time.

Jessica graduated from Bountiful High School in 1995 and attended Utah State University from 1995 until 1997 where she studied music and received a scholarship as she played the flute in their marching band.

Jessica explored many different hobbies and talents throughout the years- dance, soccer, softball, gymnastics- but her true talent and love in life that she found was music. Jessica was so gifted in music. She played many instruments throughout the years, but the two that she loved were the piano and the flute. Jessica could pick up sheet music and naturally sight read it, a talent I always envied. She brought beautiful music into the Biada home, and accompanied many people while they sang vocal solos, including Aimee and Lauren. Many times on Sundays or holidays, we gathered around the family piano while Jess played and we sang. Mom of course loved that, she loved to sit and watch her talented daughters. Jessica held many church callings and blessed many people with her musical talent.

In Jessica’s teenage years she became a big sister again when Lauren was born. How much joy she felt to have a new baby sister. She was 20 when Kate was born and 23 when Joshua came into our family. Now came her chance to be the bossy big sister. I remember many occasions when our Mom said, “Jessica, I’ll take care of it, I’m the Mom.” Jess always loved a party, and getting out to do things, and she took those kids out to do so many fun things. She always took Kate to the library, and let her check out as many books as she wanted. Jess and Josh worked out a system of going out to eat together and getting our parents to pay for it. How precious those chicken nuggets and fries are now in their memories. Jessica was a great sister to us all.

Jessica quickly embraced my husband as he treated her with so much love and respect, and she adored my 2 boys and they adored her right back. Isaac my 3 year old loves Jess and frequently included her in his prayers. She took him to his first movie on the big screen, and he loved it! And I will never forget the family meals last year, when Jess couldn’t eat, so she held my colicky Dawson during dinner and danced around with him to keep him from crying. She did it because she loved him, and she loved me and wanted to serve me even in her sickness. What a fabulous aunt she was.

One of the most selfless things I saw Jessica do was to prepare and clean up meals that she never could eat. She did this quite often. Jessica’s favorite food was salad, and I hope she has already found a way to enjoy a big salad on the other side. She could still season a salad just right even though she couldn’t take a bite of it.

Jessy was a great challenge to my parents throughout the years. She was tough from the day she was born. She required a LOT of attention. If only Mom could count the hours she spent counseling with Jessica, and sitting in doctors offices and hospitals with her. And my Dad learned so much patience from her throughout the years…. Thank you for that Jess. Dad spent his whole life making sure that she had what she needed, he was very generous to her, and she knew it. Jessica went through 3 open heart surgeries in her life, and more surgeries beyond that than we could count. She had more machinery in her body than in a microwave oven. My parents spent such a great portion of their life caring for her, and what a great burden it has been, but the burden was a true blessing and they wouldn’t trade it for anything. They consider it a great privilege to have been her parents. Truly she has taught us so much, we have learned eternal lessons from her, things the Lord probably couldn’t have taught us without her and her trials.

Jessica was devoted to nothing on this earth more than her family. Even in the last days of her life the only thing she spoke of was her family. She loved each and every one of us, and always wore herself out when we were all around because she didn’t want to miss anything. She told a dear friend in the ward that she didn’t want to die because she knew her siblings didn’t want to lose her. And she was right.

The Prophet Joseph Smith said, “I am like a huge, rough stone … and the only polishing I get is when some corner gets rubbed off by coming in contact with something else, striking with accelerated force. … Thus I will become a smooth and polished shaft in the quiver of the Almighty” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith)

I’ve hinted at it many times throughout this tribute to my sister, but she was not the easiest girl to live with. She definitely taught us patience, even when we didn’t want a lesson on it. But I’d have to say that she truly was like a huge, rough stone, and with all of the trials in her life she was polished to become the beautiful person she was when she died. She still had her moments of course, but she was truly a new person in the last years of her life. She had learned compassion through all her trials in life, and she hated to see those around her sick, even though she was much sicker than them. I truly believe that during these years she was polished and refined, that she was disciplined and trained and taught under the plan of the Almighty to be prepared to meet him and prepared to receive celestial glory. He didn’t make it easy, and the trials of a whole lifetime were packed into 31 short years for her. But she made it, and she is done. She is in a place of peace and rest, with no more scars, no IVs, no feeding tubes, no pills, and no more sorrow.

Although this may be a sad day for us, we know it is happy for her. My sister had so much potential in her spirit that she was unable to fulfill due to her physical limitations. She is now able to fulfill that potential. In the 42nd section of the Doctrine and Covenants, the Lord describes such a state: “And it shall come to pass that those that die in me shall not taste of death, for it shall be sweet unto them.”

On Saturday, September 29^th, 2007 the doctors could see that she was not improving, in fact she was getting much worse.An answer to one of my Mom’s prayers on the day Jessica passed came in the form of a song. “And should we die before our Journey’s through, Happy Day, All is Well.”

Jessica fought a good fight. She has finished the course. She has kept the faith. Today is a celebration of her life. The life she lived and the life she continues to live in spirit paradise.