This is your brain..... This is your brain on hormones..... Any questions?

WARNING: This post may contain many potent hormones, some of which may be toxic and may cause serious brain damage. If you read it you will see the damage they have already caused in me. Read at your own risk.

After my excited high on Monday, I had a really bad day yesterday. I decided to try to potty-train Isaac, and let's just say it didn't go well. I just don't understand why he wouldn't want to go potty. I would give him all kinds of rewards, but he really doesn't want to go at all. A few months ago, he was trying to potty-train himself, but I resisted because I knew I was about to embark on the joys of morning sickness. Now I'm wondering if I missed my chance.

So after a bad day with Isaac, I started wondering what I was going to do with a THIRD boy since I can't even potty-train the first. I can't very well have 3 kids in diapers, and for goodness sakes, Isaac turned 3 in April! All you women know how this story goes... from here the thought process becomes less and less rational.

My next thought was that if these kids were girls all my problems would be solved. I mean don't they say that girls are easier to potty-train? I've heard the stories about the frilly underpants that she never wanted to mess up, so she only had 1 accident ever. The smart thing to do would have been to call my Mom. I think she would have reminded me that potty-training her 5 girls was no cup of tea. In fact I remember very clearly (now that I'm through the hormonal fog) a little sister of mine saying repeatedly, "Mommy, I'm so berry sorry I pooped in my underpants." But in my pity party, did I call my Mom? No, of course not, I sat in my house and cried. I started wishing this baby was a girl, and wondering how I could handle 3 of these little monsters! Yes, I know we wanted another boy, and I was VERY excited to have another boy, but I did warn you I was NOT rational.

After spending some time in my sudden gender disappointment, I realized that it really wasn't the gender I was dreading, it was potty-training 3 kids! I remember feeling the same way when Isaac got his molars in, and not wanting another child EVER! (Please Dawson, do you really need molars? Maybe it will be easier with him) So the next stage of my pity party was questioning having a third child.

Of course there was the feeling bad that I'm feeling bad about these things stage too.

Then I moved on to the next stage where I realized that the main reason I was going through all this is because I was PREGNANT. So I started thinking about ADOPTION. Yes, I had moved on from blaming it on the gender of my children, and on their existence, and now blamed my pregnant hormones. I told my husband we were going to have to adopt the rest because I just can't do this anymore. I may not be throwing up, but I am crazy!

Some other things that contributed to my bad mood:

-I was VERY tired
-A certain person close to me felt it was their responsibility to call everyone I know and tell them my exciting news before I could. Literally within the first hour of their finding out, so I REALLY couldn't beat them. Yes, they were told they could tell people, but does that mean call everyone on your speed dial right this minute? I think not. I got so sick of hearing, "I already heard." that I quit calling people.
-One person said, "Oh no, not another boy." which may have contributed. I really wanted another boy, but even if I didn't, why can't people just be happy for me?

Why do I write these things on my blog for the whole world to read? I really don't know. These are things that should be hidden in a journal under my mattress. But it feels good to get things out sometimes. Apparently crying in front of all my in-laws, and Natalie's new boyfriend whom I had never met before, wasn't enough. But you know, writing it down did feel good, and maybe I can warn any of you women out there contemplating pregnancy. IF YOU VALUE YOUR SANITY, DON'T DO THIS TO YOURSELF.

And to tell you the truth, after proof-reading my post, I'm quite thrilled to be having another boy. This house can only handle one raging hormonal lunatic! God bless you Mom and Dad for raising 5 of them.