Mari

It was brought to my attention that some people have no idea who Mari is, or how she fits into my family. That makes sense to me now, as I tried to never bring up the confusing topic before of adoption and the challenges it can bring.

My family is so confusing. People ask me how many kids are in my family and I get a really un-intelligent, grimace on my face as I try to figure out the number. It has been ever changing since 1992, and as most families only GROW, ours has expanded and contracted at different times.

Here is the story in a nutshell.

In 1971 my parents got married. They had their token two kids, and that was it. Well, you know, one thing led to another, and 5.5 years later they had ME! For 10 years I was the baby of the family. It was fantastic. But after my dad was baptized (my mom was baptized when I was a baby) he agreed that babies come from Heaven, and there were more children to come to our family.

In 1992 my run as the baby ended with the birth of the fattest little Italian baby I've ever seen. 9 lbs 13 oz and 19 days late she was. My baby sister Lauren turns 18 tomorrow. Wow! Four years later, and at the ripe old age of 45 and 10/12 my mom had another baby girl. Baby Kate. My mom still felt strongly that she was supposed to have boys.

In 1999 my parents traveled across the world to a land called Kazakhstan. They found the sickliest little baby boy (10 pounds at 6 months) which they barely knew if he would survive the trip home, and they fattened him up to a little butterball. I think he had nearly doubled his weight in 2 months. Little Joshua, with his blond hair and huge blue eyes fit right into our family, and quickly made our little Italian Lauren look like the adopted one.

Shortly thereafter a little Russian boy showed up at our doorstep. Literally. There he was, dropped off at our house with about a week before he would return to his Russian orphanage. He won our hearts, and my parents made the journey across the world once again to adopt him. He was old. Maybe 9? Poor little guy had so many terrible things happen to him in his life. He just never could recover. It was strongly encouraged, maybe even thrust at my parents to adopt his biological sister. Maria. She is two years older than him. So they once again made the trip to Russia and adopted Maria. Shortened her name to Mari as it fit our last name better.

Unfortunately they both have been very damaged from all that they have been through. It's a tough world for a Russian orphan, especially when your mother was an alcoholic and gave you problems before you were even born. This little boy couldn't control himself in ways that were very damaging to a family. After months in a hospital, it was determined that he needed to be with parents who were specialized in taking care of children like this. His biological sister Mari followed him around as he bounced from house to house. He was the master of disaster. No one could handle him. At a certain point, when Mari was in a house where she was thriving, it was decided that she would no longer follow him around. So she lived in Arizona with a mother who is pretty darn good at raising these adopted kids.

Mari did well, working very hard in school, and setting records in cross country running for the state of Arizona. Her little 5' tall body with teensy tiny size 2 feet can run like the wind. So she stayed there until she turned 18 and unfortunately found herself pregnant after only 2 months on her own.

Worried about the welfare of the baby and Mari as well, my parents flew her home and kept her healthy through her pregnancy. My dad worked so hard to get things situated for Mari, he spent entire days driving her around helping her out.

This whole situation was very hard for me to figure out for years. Very embarrassing. Where are those adopted kids? Are they my siblings? I just avoided the topic.

Now Mari is very much a part of our family again. We are happy to have her.

How many kids are in my family? Well 3, at one point. Then 4,5 and 6. Then 7 & 8. Then 6 again. Then 2 deaths in 3 months and back to 4. Now 5. But Mr. 6 is still out there. Just not stable enough to really be a part of our family. Jail tends to be his hotel of choice.

Crazy family. But I love them. All 7 of my siblings.

I love my 3 week nephew. He is not 3 weeks old, it's that he is only my nephew for 3 weeks. Then he will hop onto someone else's family tree for the rest of eternity. And that sounds just perfect to me.