The Low Family: I sent my child away for approximately 7 hours

Thursday, August 26, 2010

I sent my child away for approximately 7 hours

5 days a week. Until June. Not counting Holidays.

My mother bear instincts kicked in. I almost ran onto the bus, chomped my teeth onto his neck and dragged him home. Okay, not quite, but I did change my mind. I wanted him to come back. I mouthed I.Love.You. to him on the bus and he nodded his head as if to say, "I know." And then as they drove away he waved to me, for a long time. It was sweet. And now he's gone.

I don't feel good about this. This is way too long. He will come home, do his homework, eat dinner and go to bed. No more fun in life. I don't have the heart to tell him that, but he will figure it out soon. My baby. They want to keep him from me all day.

Where did Kindergarten go? Kindergarten was so perfect. They took him on a bus for me, fed him lunch, and brought him home. We had the rest of the day together.

I am reminded of a letter I read when I was pregnant with Isaac. It is a letter written on the night before delivery by Vanessa Sands to her unborn child. She says this:

"Now starts the first, most heartbreaking lesson of parenting, learned anew with every newborn child: to love completely, we must first let go."

I guess it's a lesson I have learned before. Every time I deliver a baby I reluctantly give up the one and only thing that I enjoy about pregnancy: that no one else has ever held my baby. No other human has ever touched that baby. My baby. And once he comes out, a countless number of people will hold, talk to, and impact that child for the rest of his life.

To love completely we must first let go. And so we ship our children off on a big, yellow school bus and give them the opportunity to be impacted, whether it be for good or bad. And we can't control it once they're there. But we do it so they can grow, and learn, and progress in life. Which ultimately makes us burst with pride as parents. So I guess it all comes back to selfish motives.

So happy first day of first grade Isaac. And YES, it will be hard. YES, I remember how hard first grade was. YES, the day will be long. YES, you will come home better and smarter than you left that morning. And YES, I will burst with pride as I see your progress.

Isaac seeing his desk for the first time.

Isaac's teacher Mrs. Miller. She is wonderful. I've heard only the best things about her. She is happy and sweet and Isaac will love her guts. Isaac has some of the very best behaved children in his class from our neighborhood, I think Mrs. Miller will have a great class this year. I'm happy for her! And thrilled that Isaac is in this class. Today he is sitting next to his long time friend Reese, they've been friends since they were babies. I hope he behaves well.