Happy New Years

2010 was quite a year for us. I can't quite believe all the things that went on this year. I can't believe how much we love our basement, but I also can't believe how many hours we logged down there working. And it's still not totally done. 2010 involved a huge change of my life as my dad passed away and I became the only living relative of my mom that wasn't under her household. I went from worrying about my mom- not at all. To worrying about my mom-most of the time. She has done beautifully, but she has still needed lots of help. I spent hours and hours in Bountiful cleaning out her home, and hours on the phone helping her figure out everything from taxes (07, '08, '09, yikes) to buying her first home- a beautiful home in Providence in the same development and with the same house plan as our first home. We now have the Biada's here, close by, and it has been quite a change considering they only came to visit me before when I had a baby. The night after my dad died, Dave gave my mom a Priesthood blessing. He said that we would see miracle, after miracle. We truly have. The very windows of Heaven have opened up and poured out more blessings than we can receive. I just can't quite believe it. I have a hard time complaining about my dad's death as I feel we have been so well taken care of both by Heavenly and Earthly beings. I still do miss him though, but it is so much better now.

My initial reaction to the New Year was to think I was glad 2010 was over, but that's not true. It was a wonderful year. We had tremendous blessings and great memories together. God has been good to us this year.

I was struck by the song today at church. Confession: I frequently can't squeek out the words of songs in Sacrament meeting because they are so touching, they move me to tears. If you want to speak to my soul, the fastest way is through music. (I doubt Dave has ever even noticed this, I try to keep it to myself because it's embarrassing)

We sang "Come let us anew" which is one of my top 20 hymns probably. I love it. But we hardly ever sing it, so I don't remember ever reading the words. The last verse says this:

3. O that each in the day of His coming may say,
“I have fought my way thro’—
I have finished the work Thou didst give me to do.”
O that each from his Lord may receive the glad word:
“Well and faithfully done;
Enter into my joy and sit down on my throne,”
“Enter into my joy and sit down on my throne.”

I don't do New Years resolutions. I did them when I was younger, but I got so frustrated with myself when I didn't follow through that it was worse to me than not doing anything at all. I'm more of a spontaneous do-er. I decide I'm going to change it then, and I do. There is nothing about Jan 1 that helps me to set OR follow through on goals better than the rest of the year.

That's just me. Sometimes I feel like a loser, especially when people read off their list of the top 500 things they will improve on that year, and I'm like, "Yeah, I'll get back to you on that, I'm still thinking....."

So I have been pondering resolutions this week, and thinking how most of the time I am just hanging onto my life by a thread and I just can't fathom adding something huge. When we sang this song today, I was overwhelmed by the Spirit, and realized that this was my New Years resolution. It will require no huge daily changes. No money. No new running shoes. No babysitting. My New Years resolution is in everything I do, try a little harder to make sure that in day of His coming I may say, "I have fought my way thro, I have finished the work thou didst give me to do. Because all I want is to hear those words, "Enter into My joy and sit down at My throne."

That is something that I already strive for, but this year, I promise to try even harder. I'm not going to promise to read the Ensign cover to cover. Or memorize a hymn a week (although I did that one year and it is awesome to not need a hymn book most of the time). My resolution is simple. In 2011 I'm going to be a better me. I know that's vague, but I hope at the end of the year, I can look back and think, "Yeah, I did that." And be able to list off things that I improved on that year. Maybe that's almost like a reverse resolution. I don't know, but I'm excited to see what 2011 brings for the Low family. I hope we are ready for it.