Cat

I am NOT a pet person. I like babies, and don't have time or interest in pets. I don't like the thought of pet germs either. I won't even allow fish. I promise my kids a baby every time they ask for a pet.

And yet...... Picture this:

I am cleaning my basement to get ready for the carpet (insert angelic singing voices) and I hear this terrible screaming noise. I walk outside to see what it was. I look all around and then start following the sound to a corner in my yard where there are lots of weeds. I look down and see a little black and white furball. Possibly a rat? Maybe a raccoon? Then the neural synapses start making little connections right and left inside my brain and I recall a black and white cat spending a lot of time in my yard. Ooooooh no. She left a baby behind. And this baby is starving and MAD!

I grab latex gloves and pick up the cat. I rush over to my neighbors house and we freak out together. I have a dentist appointment. Now. I notice her stress level rising so I grab the cat, throw it in a bucket with some washcloths, grab two medicine droppers, fill them with milk, and throw four kids and a kitten in the car. We show up at the dentist office and I have no choice but to bring the little rat in. I walk in very embarrassed and explain my story. People think it's pretty cool and ooh and ahh over it. Husband calls to tell me the Humane Society wants me to PAY $25 to drop off the cat. I decide the place the baby in a new home asap, especially when they tell me newborn cats eat every 2 hours.

Every person that walks into the office is offered a cat. One lady agrees and I put the cat in a paper box, take my bucket, and leave as quick as I can.

Two hours later the dentist office calls me and gives me her number. She tells me the cat is too young and we need to put it outside for the mom to come get it. I DRIVE TO MACEY'S and pick up the cat I didn't want. I'm driving home wondering how on Earth this happened to ME! I don't know anything about cats. I don't particularly like cats. Why was this cat left in MY backyard?

We leave the cat outside all evening and the mom never comes. Night falls. I realize all my options have disappeared at this hour. I realize that the baby is going to starve if I don't drive to Walmart and buy CAT FORMULA!!!! and a bottle. $12 later, I 'm now the proud owner of a can of cat formula and I'm on duty for every 2 hours of feedings round the clock.

The cat doesn't scream anymore, but she is still quite the whiner. I think newborn cats are worse than newborn humans.

6:00 am comes and I'm up feeding a cat. Wondering why me again.

10:00 am comes and I put the cat outside because I'm sick of her whining.

10:15 am comes and I go outside to check on the cat and realize that Henry has soaked the cat in her own formula.

10:20 and I am Googling "How to bathe a newborn cat"

10:30 I bathe the kitten in our bathroom sink and take her outside to dry off and warm up.

10:45 am I get a phone call from a lady who is trained in kitten rescue and bottle feeding, and I realize deliverance is nigh.

11:57 and I am waiting for cat lady to get here. Fingers are crossed.